2016 Report : Papers!

January 2016

First paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma drafted.

February 2016

First paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma submitted, titled "Modeshape analysis and frequency classification of Mindlin’s plates with non-classical edges using dynamic Timoshenko trial functions". 

March 2016

Second paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma drafted.

Road Trip to Konark/Puri.

April 2016

Second paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma submitted to Elsevier International Journal of Mechanical Sciences, titled "Accurate Eigenvector-based generation of square plate modeshapes and classification of frequencies : study of  Mindlin’s plate clamped on all sides".

May 2016

Third paper with Mr. Ankit submitted titled "Free Transverse Vibration of Damped Timoshenko Beam".

June 2016

Revised two papers in Ocean Engineering by my first ever B.Tech Project Students Mr. Joseph D Thekinen, and Mr. Mohd. Atif Siddiqui.

Third paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma drafted.

Second paper drafted with Mr. Mohd. Atif Siddiqui.

July 2016

Second paper drafted with Mr. Joseph Thekinen, based in his Award-winning M.Tech Project 2014.

First paper with Mr. Joseph D Thekinen accepted in Elsevier Journal Ocean Engineering. 

Cracked the subtle contribution of rigid-body (degenerate) mode into the vibration of free-free-free-free plates with complete mathematical analysis.

Revised paper with Mr. Ankit re-submitted to Journal of Computers and Structures.

August 2016

Third paper with PhD Scholar Mr. Yogesh Verma submitted, titled "Application of translational edge restraint for vibration analysis of free edge Kirchhoff's plate including non-trivial closed-form beam-wise rigid-body modes of trivial frequency parameters".

Revised Mr. Mohd. Atif Siddiqui's paper in Ocean Engineering once again!

Cracked torsion-warping-horizontal vibration of open-section non-uniform girders. Second paper with Mr. Joseph Thekinen submitted to Elsevier journal Ocean Engineering, titled "Rayleigh-Ritz method-based analysis of dry coupled horizontal-torsional-warping vibration of mathematical open-section containership hulls". 

September 2016

First  paper with Mr. Mohd. Atif Siddiqui accepted in Elsevier Journal Ocean Engineering, titled, "Hydroelastic analysis of axially loaded Timoshenko beams with intermediate end fixities under hydrodynamic slamming loads".

October 2016

Joined the gym. Started weight training : leg press, bench press, squats, lateral pull down, shoulder press, long pull, butterfly, leg curl, arm curl, inclined bench press, chest flies, deadlifts came in 3-4 days per week, cardio 1-2 days per week.
Fourth paper with Mr. Ankit submitted to International journal of Marine Science and Application, titled "Free and forced vibration analysis of an idealized compliant tower with superstructure, due to currents, wave loads and earthquake impulses".

November 2016

Vibration lab get its first electrodynamic shaker.
Cantilever plate vibration dry impact hammer test performed by Mr. Yogesh Verma.
Cantilever plate vibration underwater impact hammer test performed by Mr. Yogesh Verma.
Prerna wing underwater impact hammer test performed by Mr. Yogesh Verma.
Both dry and wet accelerometers get their magnetic mounts.
Modal analysis software tested by Mr. Yogesh Verma.
Spandana-060-06 locking achieved! Mr. Mohd. Ishtiyak worked very hard with his team for a month to achieve it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNykTGpWNbY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPXjNhByEPo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8NDE5Ih_dc

Work begins on Spandana-090-10, by B.Tech team Mr. Abhinav Attri, Mr. Vishal Gupta, Mr. Anshuman Panda.

December 2016
New M.Tech student Mr. Omkar Venkata joins the research group.
New PhD student Mr. Rajendra Kr. Praharaj joins the research group.
Electrical power take-off system designed for Spandana-090-10.

Revised the paper in SNAME Journal of Ship Production and Design with Mr. Ameya Kannamwar, titled "Free Dry Vibration of low-aspect-ratio Cantilever Wing : Semi-analytical and Numerical Analysis with Experimental Verification".

Vacation at Mount Abu-Udaipur, Rajasthan.

What I learnt in ten years of publishing (2008-2018)

Asking questions is the biggest primemover in the evolution of society and civilization

1)      Reading papers should be a habit, a mental workout. Religiously read one paper per day. Biting into papers should become the most pleasurable activity. Read once it for all! Write and bite! Take notes like a UG student : that is your core competence. Read paper after paper after paper. It will reinforce your own paper.

2)      Your work should fill a gap in existing literature. It is very important to highlight the points of novelty in the paper. Layout the objective in the very beginning of the paper. Conclude a paper very strongly, and highlight the importance of your work. Do scholarly work and write papers of archival value.

3)      Comparative studies are an absolute must. No research can survive in isolation. Comparison with others results is THE foremost requirement. Absolutely nothing can stand ground without that. Generate decisive results, at par with recent research trends. Put forth your work in the proper perspective of the current research and literature.

4)      Start a paper with the big picture, zoom in, do the analysis, show results with comparative studies, then zoom out and show how your results and conclusions fit into the big picture.

5)      A paper needs to be marketed : pinpoint its USP and  sell one point in your work which others have missed out. Highlight very strongly what is special and unique about your work. Put forth your originality point almost like an advertisement. Suggest a reviewer who writes in your target journal, and/or is in the editorial board.

6)      Aggressively search for (at least 10) relevant papers and dissect time fully, word-by-word. The ONLY way to do a good work and get it published is to first do a thorough exhaustive literature review. Pick a few aligned papers and find out what is missing. Do not overload yourself with all literature. Do not waste time in papers distantly or remotely connected with your work. Fix one or two anchor papers for your work : publish in that journal or the journal in which that author publishes usually. Be very choosy about your literature collection. If there is any paper that you have not read in the last one year, junk it off.

7)      Do not get overwhelmed by papers : pick one of your interest are published in the last five years, it will itself help you in tracing back the relevant background papers. Stand on the shoulders of giants. The authors who published the papers are not superhumans : if they have brains, you have  too! Do not be scared of the paper, as if it is a masterpiece or something! Chill! Read like a magazine article in the first glance. Then attack it head-on! Read with a pen and notebook, taking important notes. Have a laptop handy, searching for all background papers and unknowns but relevant topics (whichever you do not know about). Brutally and openly punch hole(s) in some recent aligned papers, and make your own statement through research. Study and scrutinize literature, and do attacking comparative studies. Dig into literature and make an impactful write-up to set the stage for your finding to be displayed.

8)      Do not do things which other have not done but can do, given the time. Do things which others have not yet thought of doing. Do not do simple application of theories, case studies, exercises! Leave them for tutorials, homeworks, term papers. Do what others are repeatedly failing at. Are you filling a missing link? The proposed technique should be improving the approaches presented in published literature.

9)      Be very direct and straightforward in writing. Implicit communication is mostly misinterpreted as lack of depth. Do not expect the reader to get your point without you actually spelling it out deep and hard. Be direct, be honest. But do not let out all your research secrets.  If a paper is returned by the Editor : read the responses of the editors very carefully. Increase the depth and focus of the paper. Never make it broad, make it deep. Trim out all extra. Do not spread your paper wide like a blanket : strike it deep like a sword. Make ONE point very deeply. Do not show loads and loads of results which others can easily generate with your theory. Do not write a whole thesis : the editor/reviewer/reader will get exhausted! Depth beats breadth. Quality outlasts quantity. Concentrate your forces : be very strong and to the point. Gaining knowledge should become your spiritual activity.

10)  Kill the reviewers’ questions one by one. Answer each of them pin-pointedly and confidently, with all background and supporting information/plots. Add more references if necessary.

11)  The quickest way to get a paper published is as follows : pick up one anchor paper, re-solve the problem statement, bring in a minor physical/mathematical modification, do comparative study with that paper, and submit! Many people do this to increase their number of publications quickly. If you start you own topic from the scratch, it will be difficult (not impossible) to break into the ongoing trend of research. In the beginning of your career, you need to choose a topic based on the current research trends. Once you are established, you can bring in more originality and non-conventionality in your publications.

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12)  Never have too many things on your plate. Do not spread your energies thin. Focus! Focus! Focus! Go one at a time. Pick up one work, do from start to finish, then move to then next (after a well-deserved rest-break).

13)  Never spend a minute more than allotted in undergraduate teaching. Be very particular about your professional timing. Teaching should be on autopilot, after the first few years (as a faculty). Do not meet undergraduates unless they can do research of publishing standards. Do not waste time teaching and supervising. Be unapologetic about not diverting your energies to non-research activities.

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Stay true to your work. Be honest to your profession. You cannot lie to yourself. Do everything in academics with full honesty and sincerity. Press on and stick-to it. Persevere and success will come automatically. Every day, give yourself a reason to feel proud of at the end of the day. To get ahead in any field, reading and updating your knowledge is a must. Read and know what you are doing. Seek excellence and success will follow automatically. Perfection resides in quality. Intensity gives eminence. Start from the basics : everything will grow from there. Stay true to your IIT-JEE knowledge. Do not multi-task. It degrades your neurons! Forget the hype of work-life balance! Build your portfolio. The publications are your credentials.

Research requires self-consciousness. It requires withdrawal from the society. It requires critical thinking. It requires the ability to question things. It requires one to stop taking things for granted and verify the truth oneself. A researcher cannot do something because he has been told to do so. S/he must do something because s/he has decided to do it after all necessary deliberations. Recover from mediocrity and race towards great heights. Do not let your efforts go waste. Every research you have done : publish it!

Every human being must challenge oneself consistently, push the envelope, try bigger and better things, do increasingly difficult jobs, hone one’s talents and skills, be persistent, and see the end of their plans. Fructification is a must. One should feel like an achiever to be happy. Every person should feel : main kuch dhhang ka kar rahi hoon”. Everyone should feel worthwhile. All this comes from individual efforts, which have been motivated by internal willpower and not any external source. Howmuchsoever anyone advises someone, the latter is going to be happy only after a self-motivated accomplishment. The individual wants their own core competence propelled into action by their own choice. It is very important for the individual to decide what they want to do in life. Life is too precious to be lived ad-hoc, somehow. Make life worth living, not merely existing. Have goals, dreams, plans. If you want something you have never had before, you have to do something that you have never done before. New results cannot come without changing present efforts. So head out for the unknown. Challenge your brain. Push yourself to do bigger and better things. Do what you are scared of : action cures fear. Face your fears head-on, as if it does not exist : and it will really cease to exist.

From Arranged Marriage to Love.

                                           

At the very outset, let me bust the bubble. India does not 'enjoy' a low divorce rate : it actually suffers it. More than half the country is trapped in arranged marriages. If the divorce rate is rising, it is a healthy sign of a nation proactively undoing their mistakes and seeking to be happy.
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Arranged marriages suck! Period!

• Arranged marriage is for losers, who compromise in life and do not wait for their soulmate. As if, "I could not reach the best college, so let me study in at least some local college and get a degree". Similarly, losers think, "I could to find someone to fall in love to get married, so let me at least search for someone with the help of my parents and 'promote' myself to the 'married' status". It is for those who are ready to step down from their ideal dream of finding the love of their life, and quickly "settle". It is for those who 'leave everything to destiny', and do not actively and consciously seek and choose happiness. It is like the one disparaging oneself, "Rehne do, tumse na ho payega. Parents ko jugaad lagane do".
• Arranged marriage is for despo-s. They get fidgety that they are 'still' single when their friends are getting married one by one. They, too, want to join the rat-race for Grihastha ashram. They want to 'prove a point' to their ex-flame by marrying off in a hurry. They even get married because 'the ex-flame is getting married'. They want to play a 'catch-up' with the married others, disrespecting the uniqueness of their own life. Marriage for them is an agenda to be executed, ASAP.
• Arranged marriage is for co-dependent children who lack self-reliance, and need their parents to find a match for them, and count on the previous generation(!) to assure them marital happiness. Even after the arranged marriage, they cannot/will not take the responsibility of their conjugal life. Such people discuss their marital woes at regular intervals with their old parents and trouble them. They have their stand : "Mom/Dad, you fixed this marriage, and in times of trouble, you will do the fix-it/damage-control". It is for the spineless jerks who think their own marriage is not their business, but rather, their parents' responsibility! They allow others to control their lives, since they are too lazy to pick up the ball and run. Also, they know their parents (i) will not support a love-marriage, or (ii) they will not approve of the partner chosen; and so, they surrender readily and wait blankly for their mysterious future.

                   

• Arranged marriage is for paranoids, who think the chronological age 30 is the drop-scene in their partner search. Women act as if they menopause at 30! Men act as if they become 'uncles' at 35. Parents get panic attacks as the daughter pushes 25. As a man crosses 28, parents want to get a new caretaker for him and be free themselves from the quarter-century necessary evil of looking after a son. "If my child is not married at a 'marriageable' age, then Log kya kahenge?". The girl's parents start firing a machine-gun of proposals to all prospects in marriage market. As rejections pour in (for low-IQ reasons), they keep reducing the filters of their preferred criteria in the groom, desperate to "kanyadaan" their daughter off! Such people may also get married simply to 'clear the line' for the younger siblings/cousins! The society starts setting unwritten deadlines to get hitched, and the parents sore the ears of the children with their marriage-obsession. The person thinks, "Yaar, these parents are eating my head with their 'get-married'-'get married' broken record. Chal yaar, shaadi kar hi lete hain".
• An arranged marriage is a blind date (calendars) from which you cannot walk away without legal intervention. You continue to remain alone. Neither spouse takes the effort to build a relationship, since they think they are already in a socially-approved 'relationship' : it is no longer a "chase" for the guy to win the girl's heart. And since they are anyways legally bound, they sleep together. It is like a series of one-night stands in succession without knowing who this person is. You are again strangers on the next morning. The guy remains an obedient son. He sides with his parents, and NOT you. You are supposed to suit yourself in a bunch of strangers and and keep acting 'convent-educated'.
• Arranged marriage is an illusion/farce. The individual in unimportant here. The parties are interested in the concept of marriage, rather than the persons in it. Your spouse is not interested in you particularly as a person, but rather in your ability to fill up the vacancy of a partner's post. If not you, it can be anybody else! You are easily replaceable. You are dehumanized. Your uniqueness does not matter. It's cold business. Two random people are just supposed to play 'Ghar-Ghar' in the conventional sense of the term, and tolerate each other for the rest of their lives. Within a few hours of signing on a paper, they are supposed to shed their clothes and attempt to procreate! Fake-ness Spike!
• Arranged marriage is a one-up one-down contract, an MoU signed between the two sets of parents. It incorporates stark, shameless patriarchy. The girl's parents just want a vagina-guard for their daughter, better known as 'husband'. They simply want to do their Manu-Smriti-inspired duty of marrying off a daughter as soon as possible. They can consider you to be ordinary enough to be married in a traditional patriarchal arranged marriage. Also, they will consider the groom and his family to be doing the greatest favor by marrying their daughter! A daughter is a transferable property simply to be handed over to the new owners. Humare sar se beti ka boj utar gaya. PUKE! (More about this in my other blog).
• The spouses in an arranged marriage are putting up an act 24/7. Plastic smiles, forced socializing, bonded labor, customary dressing-up, robotic sex. You end up doing things not because you wanted to do it, but because 'it has to be done' : you 'should' wear a sari, you 'should' visit relatives as a couple, you 'should' wear jewelry, you 'should' follow rituals and customs, you 'should' do Karva Chauth', etc. The marriage is like a life-long assignment, with routine checks from parents and relatives of both sides. The couple has been told that their primary job is to reproduce quickly. They can fight during the day, give each other cold treatment during the evening, but can still have sex at night without any mental connection! The next morning, they silently eat at the breakfast table. They even talk negatively about each other in to others in front of the spouse! Again they get back together in the bedroom at night for their "homework". They were strangers on Day 1; may develop some acquaintance with each other over a few weeks/months, but one fight and they are back to square one. Going by statistics, most failed arranged marriages have failed in the first one year of marriage (some in less than three months). Arranged marriages are built on three words : Compromise, Sacrifice, Adjust. And somehow, the Indian culture majorly glorifies them. When you love a person, these verbs do not exist! They are for those who are merely putting up with a person whom they did not choose, and neither are they interested in.                                              
• Parents, themselves married decades ago through arranged marriages, consider that it is sex which creates the bond/connection between the couple! They delude themselves like, "If they are sleeping together, they are happy"(!). They think the number of nights a couple spend together is directly proportional to the strength of their bond! Even the legal system counts the number of days they have spent together : quantity, rather than quality, is considered important! Going by the limited thinking of the society, Sex is Marriage and Marriage is Sex! Grow up : sex is just a part of coupledom! Also, parents consider their own arranged marriage a 'success' because they have not divorced (Yo!), and hence 'inspire' you to follow the same. Who said a marriage is successful if it does not fall apart? (As if, you-are-healthy-as-long-as-you-do-not-go-to-the-hospital!). Who cares to examine the quality of the relationship? Optionless/gutless previous generation, who could not revert the imposition of an arranged marriage by their own parents' a full generation ago, now want us to plunge into the same drama? Their attempts at trying to convince you to follow their footsteps is so hilarious! So, either laugh  off the comedy and put your foot down, or stay in a life-long tragedy. Also, the first-night sex is just over-hyped : your mom will put you on hormonal pills to delay your menstruation if it is due on the reception night, saying it is an ill-omen to "have the dwaar shut on the first darshan opportunity of the husband". 
• An arranged marriage is a task. Women are expected to behave like Miss India-s : you must always smile, be polite, be sweet, be nice, basically stay quiet in order to maintain peace in the household. You must quickly pick up the ways and norms of her husband's house, and the temperament of the in-laws. You are also expected to improve their son : grow him up, teach him sense of responsibility, make him an adult. You even need to teach him to urinate without leaving yellow spots on the commode! You are expected to arrange her husband's cupboard, handle his laundry, cook for him, remind him of his appointments, remind him to wear the sweater as winter sets in, etc.etc. You have to even get scoldings like a schoolgirl for doing things around the matrimonial home on your own/without permission. You have to pick up after him and settle the household in order at the end of the day. Then you retire and fearfully lie down next to your husband in bed, holding your breath and waiting to be pounced upon. 
• You feel suffocated with a stranger. You do not know what to expect of the other person. But you have signed a contract to live with him 24/7. Any healthy relationship, whether legalized or otherwise, cannot be such a stifling activity. An arranged marriage turns out to be exactly that. You feel sick when parents/parents-in-law start doing the thinking (on your behalf), in running your relationship. Your own life is lost somewhere and you start freaking out. Things start happening one after the other without you having any control. Weekends/vacations get filled up with parties, birthdays, anniversaries, get-togethers, Puja-s, festivals, picnics, baby showers.....phew! No time to breathe! You even need to take time off from work to give your attendance in such events. Phone calls from new relatives consume your weekends, which you wanted to spend in privacy. 
• Online matrimonial sites have 3-month, 6-month, 9-month subscriptions. Really?! How can you decide in a short duration whether you want to spend your lifetime with this person? Even buying car needs at least a month of homework. Lovers date for a few to several years, before settling down. Finding true love is not an overnight decision! The bigger loser is the one who searches for random strangers on online portals. They could not find anyone in their social circle, among their friends-group, not even through extended family contacts!
• Arranged marriage is a gamble. You throw the dice and whatever comes in your destiny, you accept it. You are supposed to be OK with this uncertainty. 
• Arranged marriages are against the process of human evolution. Natural selection is inhibited/prohibited, and people are forced to marry the wrong person. 

        
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Marriage is extremely over-hyped in India, involving humongous amounts of money and emotions. We can go easy on the money part, but Indians run high on emotions due to their high-sugar-high-oil-high-salt diet. Too many people get involved in an institution, which should be only for the two people getting married. Relatives near and far start having their say before, during, and after the marriage. Random people decide the names of your children. You suddenly feel you are in a jungle, with too many strangers intruding on your privacy from time to time. There is nothing called couple-privacy in India. Marriage is a social, rather than a personal, institution here. The customary honeymoon is just a temporary compensation : "You both are free to enjoy a few days alone away from the family crowd". 

    

Time sets everything right....Really?

Do NOT believe those stories about a woman, who is in love with a man, but is forcefully married to someone else by her parents, and then she slowly forgets her lover and start loving her husband. Movies like "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" and "Namastey London" unintentionally show how fickle a woman's mind is, which can be made to flow in any direction! People think, "Pehle shaadi karwa dete hain, dhere dhere understanding ban jayegi dono mein". Parents say, "Give it some time, you will start liking him". Excuse me! Women know who they love and are steadfast in being with him only. All other men of the planet can buzz off! Just because a man loves me does not mean my job is simply to reciprocate! Love is a conscious, proactive choice. The husband can be nice, but if you do not love him, nothing works!

This is what I learnt :

• NEVER marry if you do not love the person. "Settling" is nothing compared to finding true love. 
• Do not buy the sarcastic prophecy : "Indian women first marry, then fall in love". Some naive women are hypnotized to believe sex equals love! No wonder wife-beating thrives with more than half of India (both sexes) OK with it : women are taught that sadism is an expression of "tough love" since school. Do not believe when you dad/mom says, "In due course of time, you will fall in love with him". 
• You cannot "plan" to fall in love, please! You cannot concoct feelings and "convince" yourself to love somebody. No forced connection ever works. Friendships, too, happen automatically. Are you friends with every person in your workplace? Are you friends with each and every neighbor? Do you connect with each and every relative? No, right? Just because you landed up working together does not a connection make. Similarly, just because others made you enter the same bedroom does not a connection make!
• Do to believe when mom/dad says, "If you choose your partner yourself, you may end up making the wrong choice. You are too naive and immature. Let us do that for you : we are far more experienced ". Sorry! Parents are not 'far more' experienced. They are only as experienced as their own exposure to the  partner-search exercise, which happened a generation ago : times have changed, inter-personal relationships have changed, society has changed, media has changed, ambitions have changed, people's dreams have changed, people's needs have changed (compare a woman marrying in 1947 for financial security and a woman marrying in 2017 for compatibility, get the picture?) : all the good experience of your parents might have gotten irrelevant. Do NOT count on them.

           
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All crap! Total Bullshit!

When you are a go-getter, who lives life according to her/his own terms, dreams big, wants to build a life by her/his own choice, an arranged marriage should not even be in your radar. "Arranged?!!!"......Are you serious?! First, marriage requires you to be in love. Period. No questions about that. Second, how the hell will others decide whom you will "fall in love" with ? Even you cannot decide it! The only reason why two people should stay together should be Love, and only love. Arranged marriages should be banned for the happiness of the country and the mental health of the nation. (Did you know 36% of Indians are depressed?) 

A relationship should bring fulfillment. Only that person, who amplifies your solitude, can be permitted into your life. Only that person, who is more important than your cherished singlehood, should be allowed as your significant other. This person is NOT filling up a vacuum. A relationship is NOT a compensation for a being a social misfit or a recluse. A spouse is NOT for filling up an vacancy.
A true relationship is effortlessly well-balanced. You should give, but also expect to receive. Things should happen naturally and automatically. A true relationship cannot be a Cantilever (See diagram below), which is firmly (stressfully) supported on one side and hanging free on the other! If you are always being the initiator, taking the first step, wearing the pants, and behind the wheel; the best idea is to squash the relationship. Love is not about pain/fights/emotional trials/suffering/crying. Love is NOT a challenge. Finding love is not a chase-battle-struggle-frustration-disappointment-depression cycle. Neither is it an indiscriminate search. You cannot choose a person to "fall in" love with! Neither should you get too serious about coupledom soon. Having too quick expectations will only plunge you into pessimism, getting bitter at the world.

                  

Love is not an agenda to be executed! Stop planning to fall in love : it will fizzle out. Do not hypnotize yourself into a relationship. It is not a "methodical" exercise that should be in your To-Do list! Even if you find someone, and start dating, if you are going through the planned,well-thought-out, customary card-gift/roses/Valentines Day/chocolate/Teddy bear routine, you are only playing "romance-romance". 

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"Surviving" Singlehood? : No, Cherish it!

   

Unless you are single by choice (e.g., Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Ex-President), insecurity creeps in. You remain scared that the person will reject you. You lose confidence that someone can actually love you. You feel you are trying to move a mountain. You feel desperate. You grow cynical. You 'punish' the world by your bitterness in advance, before they can hurt you (which you think they anyways will). You feel the world has "punished" you by forced singlehood, and you seek "revenge" by being unsocial or/and hostile.

Heal yourself. Be original. Transform yourself. Focus on your life. Follow your dreams. Don't think too much and take life as it comes. Stop over-planning. Give love to receive love. Don't reciprocate. Love yourself. Remind yourself the following:

• A spouse is NOT a kaam-chahalu person, that anyone can fit the bill. Do NOT carry you heart on your sleeve, thinking "Yeh nahin to yeh sahi", "Doosri(a) nahin to teesri(a) sahi", etc. Do not downgrade yourself, neither try to 'upgrade' the other person.
• Be extremely choosy. Never lower your threshold of ideals. Finding love is not a hit-and-trial process. Never be a Dil-Phek (throw your heart). 
• If you are getting disappointed repeatedly, it is time to change your social circle/place of work/city, basically change your choice in potential partners. You cannot give importance to incompatible people. 
• Stop imagining just anybody in that significant position in your life. You are unique, and so should be your partner. 
• Love comes in when you stop waiting for it. Do not expect anything from an arbitrary person. With the right person, you will get love even before you begin to expect. 
• Happiness is a conscious, proactive choice. Others cannot have the power to make you unhappy. 
• Your relationship status does not certify your worth, self-esteem, social status, family prestige. It is a private thing. People who use it for these purposes have nothing else going in their lives to feel fulfilled through.
• Do to let the 'fear' of remaining single lead you to hasty compromises and loss of your identity. You wrongly consider your life to be bland, and in order to spice it up, you let any Tom-Dick-Harry in, and later feel cheap. The quality person is worth waiting for.

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Friend-Zoning

Friend-zoning is a reality : the premise of Love is exclusivity. "I love you" is reserved for that significant person in your life : it cannot be dished out to all and sundry. Love and Friendship are different things. No wonder the dialogue "I love you, but as a friend" is heart-breaking. It is a cruel mish-mash of two distinct relationships. Friendship has been more abused than Love in misunderstandings between people. A good Friendship should not be risked by changing the equations and trying out something that may or may not work out, and finally kill the Friendship itself. Do not give wrong signals to people : make the distinction clear ASAP. Sorry Bollywood, Friendship is NOT Love, and Love is NOT Friendship. Converting Friendship into Love is uncomfortable, and the vice-versa is very painful. Separate them out very neatly, and consistently maintain the stark distinction. For Heaven's sake, do not say "I love you" to a friend. 

At the receiving end, if you are friend-zoned and you did not want to be so, maintain a decent distance. Stay clear and lead your own life.

Chasing does not lead to a true relationship. It is either for lust, or a sense of ego-bolstering, or for social prestige. Obtaining a trophy girlfriend has nothing to do with compatibility, connection, convergence.
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Love triangles
1) Triangular theory of Love
 

Liking = Friendship
Companionate Love = Best Friendship
Infatuate Love = Lust
Empty Love = Arranged marriage, in long-term
Romantic Love = No-Strings-Attached
Fatuous Love = Arranged marriage, in short-term. It includes marital rape, too.

2) Love, Marriage, Sex
Love, Marriage, and Sex (L-S-M) are three corners of the scalene triangle called Relationship. Neither arm and neither angle is equal to the other two. Let's see its combinations. 

• There can be Love, without Marriage and Sex (Krishna-Draupadi). 
• There can be Sex, without Love and Marriage (Umrao Jaan). 
• There can be Marriage, without Love and Sex (Ramakrishna Paramahansa and his wife Sharada).
• There can be Marriage, without Love (as in 'arranged marriage') and Sex as a one-year assignment to procreate (Vishwamitra-Menaka, Bhim-Hidamba, Arjun-Chitragada). 
• There can be Love and Sex, without Marriage (Dushyant-Shakuntala, Surya-Kunti, Satyavati-Parashar). 

Love is all-pervading. Sex is its subset. Marriage is just a legalization formality. In India, Love and Marriage are two very different things, while Sex is only for reproduction. Many couples dwindle their sex lives upon the birth of a child. The sequencing of L-S-M may be different for different people, leading to different experiences. Let's see its permutations. 

• Love, Marriage, Sex : Under-confident courtship marriage
• Love; Sex; Marriage : 21st Century
• Marriage; Sex; Love : OK OK arranged marriage
• Marriage; Love; Sex : Nice arranged marriage
• Sex; Marriage; Love(optional) : Khap Panchayat 
• Sex; Love; Marriage : The Western style.
• Marriage; Sex : typical Indian arranged marriage
• Love, Sex : No Strings Attached.

---------------------------
Finally...........LOVE!

Compatibility is the first magic word. No third person can understand why two people are so connected, so resonant, what do they find in each other to stay together, what binds them, and what makes their chemistry rock! When the two of you connect, resonate, and want to stay together, go ahead and do not bother to explain to the remaining 7 billion people on the planet. No person is "right" or "wrong", "good or "bad". It is about who is comfortable with whom, and how much they overlap in temperaments. 

The second magic word is Respect. Love cannot exist without it. You respect the person whom you spend your life with with. You care for the person, you understand the person. You even admire the person. You say to yourself, "This is the person I want to be with. S/he will exponentially enhance the quality of my life." Even when you 'fight', you are on the same side. You respect the individuality of the other person : you never try nor ever need to change him/her.

The third magic word is Chemistry. There is a spark! Your eyes meet and you feel a rush of happiness. You are attracted to each other in every way. The interaction between you both amplifies your very being. You can never have enough of each other. You lose track of time enjoying your togetherness. You want to spend endless time with this person. Sense of humor from either side only consolidates your bond. You share personal and intimate space with the person extremely comfortably.

The final magic word is Commitment. It becomes your second nature. You both are in your own beautiful world, where no third person steps in. You cannot imagine life without the other person.

Go Ahead! Find Love! Find the Right Person! Refuse to live a farce. Seek your own happiness. You deserve it!

Another Awesome year 2015 (report) : travel and experiments

• Underwater Prerna rudder free vibration in the Department of Mechanical Engineering, Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur. Courtsey : Prof. Amiya K. Mohanty, Lab-in-charge. Project Investigator : Mr. Ameya Kannamwar, Co-investigator : Mr. Rahul Jindal, Impact-generator : Mr. Yogesh Verma; Photographer + data recorder (referee) :  Mr. Prateek Sinha.

• Paper accepted at http://www.asmeconferences.org/OMAE2015/,  "Free dry and wet vibration of 2-way tapered hollow marine rudder with non-classical pivot : theoretical study", based on Mr. Rahul Jindal's Autumn 2014 BTP (B.Tech Project) work.

• Paper accepted at 22nd International Congress on Sound and Vibration (ICSV22), Florence, Italy, 12-16 July 2015 : N. Datta and R. Jindal, “Wake-induced flutter of 2-way tapered hollow stiffened marine spade rudder in non-uniform propeller slipstream”, 22nd International Congress on Sound and Vibration (ICSV22), Florence, Italy, from 12 to 16 July 2015; based on Mr. Rahul Jindal's Spring 2015 BTP work.

• In IIT-JEE 2001, I made a terrible mistake in Problem # 13 (volume flux, involving differential equations and trigonometric integration, http://www.askiitians.com/iit-papers/iit-jee-2001-mathematics-mains.aspx) in the Mathematics paper (Main examination). This 10-marks problem slid my All India Rank by, say, 300-350.Today, after 14 years, I extracted that paper; and without any preparation, re-solved that problem correctly in 10 min. (Verified with FIITJEE solutions). Another neuron of self-confidence added!

• First trip to Garden Reach Shipbuilders and Engineers : http://www.grse.nic.in/

• Second trip to Garden Reach Shipbuilders and Engineers.

• Purchase of 8-channel FFT analyzer : free vibration study of Circular Aluminum plate by the AVRG Experimentalist Mr. Ameya N Kannamwar.

• Stiffened model of rudder, with stock, fabricated and named Asha.

• Propeller-Induced Vibration (PIV) experiment of stiffened rudder (Asha) at Naval Science and Technological Laboratory, DRDO, Visakhapatnam, under the guidance of Scientists Mr. Manu Korulla and P C Praveen :  http://www.drdo.gov.in/drdo/labs/NSTL/English/index.jsp?pg=homebody.jsp
• First article in online magazine published : http://www.womensweb.in/2015/04/how-to-deal-with-menstrual-cramps/

• Second article published in The Women's Web : http://www.womensweb.in/2015/04/make-your-own-decisions/

• MTP (M.Tech Project) presentations by Mr. Ankit and Mr. Ameya N Kannamwar respectively. Mr. Ankit's seminar link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EptwRJ23Jck, Mr. Ameya N Kannamwar's Seminar link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59TpAIbTclw. Mr. Ankit wins the Best M.Tech Project 2015 Award. 
• 

• Third article published in The Women's Web: http://www.womensweb.in/2015/05/why-ddlj-is-a-horrible-movie/

• Fourth  article published in The Women's Web : http://www.womensweb.in/2015/05/10-tough-questions-to-ask-yourself/

• Mr. Rahul Jindal presents his paper titled "Free dry and wet vibration of 2-way tapered hollow marine rudder with non-classical pivot : theoretical study", at OMAE2015, St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada. Link to his talk : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zohU6aW3Ow
• 

• Europe trip for Pita-Mata : London, Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin.

• Europe trip for Pita-Mata : Prague, Vienna, Switzerland, Milan, Venice, Florence, Rome.

• Presented at ICSV22, Florence, Italy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm9DwJ0qlSk

• First self-research-based journal paper titled "Free transverse vibration of ocean tower", by Mr Ankit accepted in the journal titled 'Ocean Engineering'.

• New member in AVRG : Mr Ashish Shukla, for his BTP 2015-16 : Transient loading response analysis of elastically supported circular Kirchhoff's plates.

• New member in AVRG : Mr L.S. Lingesh, for his MTP 2015-16 : Energy extraction through vortex-induced vibration : theoretical and experimental analysis.

• Mr. Ameya N Kannamwar wins the Elmer L Hann Award for the paper presented at the SNAME maritime Convention, Houston, USA, October 2014, titled : N. Datta and A.N. Kannamwar, "Free vibration of marine rudder: theoretical and numerical analysis with experimental verification". http://www.sname.org/recognition/awardspage/elmerlhannaward
• 

• Mr. Yogesh Verma (2nd year PhD) completes the finite Element analysis of Mindlin's plates with five boundary conditions : CCCC, CCCF, CFCF, CCFF, CFFF : Generates natural frequencies (comaprable with literature)  and modeshapes (beyond literature).

• Mumbai Visit  a) Department of Mechnical Engg, IIT Bombay,b) Indian Register of Shipping, Mumbai, c) Cybermarine, Navi Mumbai.
• 

• Opening of the Vibration Laboratory Department of Ocean Engineering and Naval Architecture, IIT Kharagpur; after 8 years of lying defunct. 
• 

• Dry plate vibration experiment done by Mr. Yogesh Verma (2nd year PhD) for five boundary conditions : CCCC, CCCF, CFCF, CCFF, CFFF. (C = Clamped edge, F = Free edge).
• 

• Tank fabricated for the wet vibration experiment of the plate with dimensions 4' x 4' x 2.5', strengthened in the Department Workshop, with mild steel (MS) angles lying junk in the Ship Hydrodynamics Tank premises.
• 

• VIV experiment planned in the Circulation Channel, Department of Ocean Engineering and Naval Architecture, IIT Kharagpur; by Mr. L.S. Lingesh (2nd year M.Tech).
• 

• VIV model-making begins in the Workshop, with pipes/bars/angles lying junk in the Circulation Channel store. She is names 'Spandana'.                                   

• Circulation Channel Velocitimetry experiment done by Mr. L.S. Lingesh, guided by Mr. Sharat and Mr. Subhasis (MS students).

• Experiment : Wet Vibration impact hammer test of CFFF plate performed by Mr. Yogesh Verma, assisted by three 3rd year B.Tech students.
• 

• Experiment  : Vibration of plate with non-classical end fixity.

• SPANDANA warm-up : insights into achieving resonant VIV found.

• CWISS (Central Workshop and Instruments Service Section) and Dept. of Electrical Engineering, IIT Kharagpur contacts established and supports assured.

• Second self-research-based journal paper by Mr Ankit, assisted by Mr. Ameya N. Kannamwar, accepted in the journal titled 'Ocean Engineering', titled: Free transverse vibration of mono-piled ocean tower.                                         

How to be a 21st century Man Series (Part-3) : Understand what your mother is NOT.

1. Your mother is NOT your servant. You cannot be lounging on the sofa watching the match and ordering her to get you water/coffee/chips. 

2. Your mother is NOT your waitress. Do not expect her to serve you food standing beside you, as you gobble down and burp! It is extremely insulting. Neither expect her to pick up your plates. Pick them up yourself. If you have finished eating, sit at the table till she finishes hers. 

3. Your mother is NOT your caretaker. She is not supposed to remind you to cut your hair or trim your nails. 

4. Your mother is NOT your governess. Pick up your own socks, polish you own shoes, do your own laundry, iron your own clothes, stitch your own buttons, clear up your own desk. Basically, overcome your domestic handicap.

5. Your mother is NOT your alarm clock/ wake-up call in-charge. If you have an early morning engagement/practise session/flight, she is not supposed to make you tea, forgoing her own well-deserved rest hours.

6. Your mother is NOT your secretary/manager : don't ask "Maa, where is my office file?".

7. Your mother is NOT your mind-reader : don't come back home sulking after a bad day at work and expect her to pamper you.

8. Your mother is NOT your housekeeper. It is her magnanimity that she cleans up your room and tidies it when you are out. Firmly ask her not to do it, and do it yourself regularly.

9. Your mother is NOT your washerwoman. Don't ask her "Maa, where is my gangi? Where are my socks?" 

10. Your mother is NOT your cook. Don't expect the meal to be ready to be served as soon as you are home. You may have to cook yourself, with she busy elsewhere in her own life. 

11.Your mother is NOT your appointment diary. Don't tell you, "Maa, please remind me to pay the bill tomorrow". Grow up!

12. Your mother is NOT your father's assistant. Even if you see you father talking to her in an 'ordering' tone of voice, you do not do that. Comfort her when she feels insulted at the snides by arrogant males of the previous generation, who are conditioned to believe women to be 'inferior'. Firmly ask those males to talk to her with respect and dignity.

13. Your mother is NOT from "another family", and you do not belong only to your father's side of the family. Respect biology. You are her descendant also.

14. Your mother is NOT your punching bag. Never be rude to her since you had a bad day at office/got frustrated due to someone's behavior/lost your cellphone.

15. Your mother is NOT just an uterus : you came 50% from her ovum also. You were only 50% in your father's sperm. She is not an oven which cooks your dad's bun. If you consider her as a baby-producing machine, be ready to be labelled as a sperm-producing machine yourself.

16. Your mother is NOT supposed to have your dad's surname. She does not have any blood relationship with him. The opposite is also true.

17. Your mother is NOT doing 'her Manu-Smriti-dictated duty' in your father's house, nor is she supposed to by the Indian Constitution, nor can you punish her by any Section of the IPC for not doing so. It is her extreme magnanimity that she forwent her daughter's duties and came here to pamper your father's and your paternal grandfather's egos. As a 21st century man, it is your utmost duty to reverse this trend to neutrality. Don't wait to have a daughter to understand that. Don't even wait to have a wife to understand that.

18. Your mother is NOT going to be replaced with your wife. Don't pressurize these two women to swap roles repeatedly for your convenience.