July 2001. Bidaai hone waali hain. Ghar chodna hain! I began packing my bags. I made long lists of all the things to be taken, including my bedding. This was going to be my first unpaired journey (with no return journey!). Mom did some shopping for me : clothes, accessories, etc. I also packed off all my school books in the storeroom and cleared my desk (an old big table belonging to my Dadaji). Most of my books from Class 11-12 were lent to Hampi for his studies. Dad gave me a few thousand rupees for the semester. Then, on July 22nd, 2001, I had my Kanyadaan : My parents 'dedicated me away to the service of the nation' (See picture below). Early morning, we three took a small train (Gomoh-Kharagpur Passenger) from Sudamdih (8 km from Sindri) to Kharagpur. It was 6-hour journey, which appeared unending to me. I was too excited and eager to step into this Institute. Finally, when the train reached its destination, we took a cycle-riskshaw to the Campus. First we went to the Sarojini Naidu Hall of Residence and reported to the Hall President Priyanka. (A hostel is called a Hall in this campus). I was allotted a double-sharing room : W-206. It had two single-bed wrought iron cots, two tables, two chairs, two mini-cupboards and two windows. We got two housekeeping staff to first clean the room. I unfolded my bedding and put a bedspread. Dad fixed the bulb in the room, and I fixed a clothesline in the verandah outside with my mom. My room-mate was Sophia Randhawa from Tarn-Taran, Punjab. The foyer of the hall had a security desk, where incoming trunk calls were allowed. If we had to call back home, we had to step out to one of the several PCOs in the campus. After the welcome function in the Netaji Auditorium (attached to the Main Building), we walked to our respective Departments for another welcome and introduction. We were awed at the expanse of the campus. The Head of the Department, Prof. S. K. Satsangi greeted us. We were also introduced to our Faculty Adviser Prof. T. Sahoo. We had another introduction in the Hall, where we were introduced to the Warden and two Assistant Wardens, all of whom were faculty members. My parents took the train back home, and I went back to the Hall and settled down. I unpacked my bags, put up a calendar on the wall, arranged my desk with new notebooks and stationery, arranged the toilet items in one side of the mini cupboard, and placed my shoes below the cot.
After the joining formalities, the new batch of 17 freshers in the Girl's hostel gathered in the W-mid wing and introduced themselves to each other. We were all allotted into seven different sections, given the the First-Year curriculum was common across departments. I was in Section 2, with Saumya Agrawal, Bhavna Arora, Anjali Sinha, and two more girls. I still remember the first class. It was at 7:30 am in F234, a class room in the first floor of the front block of the main building (pictured above). It was the subject of Mathematics, taken by Prof. V. K. Jain of the Dept. of Mathematics. Classes were 55 min each, starting from 7:30 am to 12:25 pm. After the lunch hour, they resumed at 1:30 pm and continued till 4:25 pm, sometimes, 5:25 pm. Chemistry was taught by Prof. S. Dasgupta and Prof. M. Bhattacharya, Electrical Technology (ET) was jointly taken by Prof. T. K. Basu and Prof. J. Pal, Mechanics was by Prof. M. C. Roy, and English was by Dr. Rimi B. Chatterjee. There was also Engineering Drawing, taken by the Dept. of Civil Engg. The Chemistry Lab was taken by Prof. A. Pathak, with Chandrajit Basu / Arnav Prakash as my lab partners. In ET lab, we formed a group of five people (Aseem Dhingra, Arnav Prakash, Chandrajit Basu, Saumya Agrawal, and myself). Saumya and me soon became friends. There was no time for a warm-up. Studies began at overwhelming speed. The whole day was packed from 7:30 AM to 4:30 PM. After dinner, the Dean of Students Affairs and the warden made rounds of the freshers' wings of the hostel, knocking door to door and asking about our well-being. Within a week, my dad sent my old blue bicycle (bought by him in 1975) from home to my hostel.
August was filled with Freshers' events. I participated in Bengali Elocution, Table tennis, Badminton, etc. I was also selected for Bengali Dramatics, but did not participate. In September, the seniors started the 2-week Orientation Program (read ragging). Sometimes it was fun, sometimes irritating. We had to first learn the intro-s of the HCM (Hall Council Members), followed by all the seniors in the hall. We also had to memorize many "Insti Funda". Then there were fun sessions where we had to role-play / dance / scream / etc. This OP also used to happen in the mess during lunch (12 pm - 1:30 pm) and dinner (7 pm - 8:30 pm). It ended with the Fresher's welcome program, where we had a fashion parade, the Mr. SN Contest, and a dance party. My sister and Brother-in-law visited me in the campus in September for a day. A few weeks later, my mother visited me to give me some cash in order to pay the mess bill. She stayed in the guest house. After the one-week Durga Puja vacation in October, we had the preparations for Diwali Illumination. For four weeks, we first years slogged for hours, sometimes half into the night, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. It left us with no time to study. I also took part in open-IIT Bengali Dramatics. My first stage play was "Daibaddha" by Meghnad Bhattacharya, in which I played the protagonist Sita (a single mother taken refuge by a truck driver, and her daughter having identity crisis). After 4 weeks of rehearsal with seniors, we won the third place. I performed reasonably well in this opening semester. In the December break, we had a NSS camp in the nearby Gopali village. We had to put up a Musical drama as well as a Bengali drama, I was the protagonist in both.
The Spring Semester brought in new subjects : Maths by Prof. A. Biswas, Physics by Prof. B. Shastry, Basic Electronics by Prof. S. Sanyal, Introduction to manufacturing processes (machining, welding, foundry) conducted by the Dept. of Mechanical Engg., Programming and Data Structure by Prof. S. Sarkar. I really struggled with this last subject. It had lab classes, conducted by Mr. Gautam Biswas in the CIC (Computer and Informatics Centre). The classes were too fast, but students with a school background in programming breezed through this and the classes went at their pace. I tried putting in effort and learnt the subject to whatever extent I could. In this semester, all of us had a computer in our rooms, paid partially by the alumni of IIT Kharagpur.
This semester was full of activities : Spring festival, Inter-hall events, Hall-days, Gymkhana elections, Hall Elections. I took part in the inter-hall Bengali Dramatics, as well as the Annual Production of BTDS (Bengali Technology Dramatics Society), titled "Football". I was dragged into musical performances where I was made to play the synthesizer for five different songs. Those rehearsals took hours. The polite Carmel girl in me had not learnt to say 'No' (Convent teaches you to be very obedient). The first year batch had to campaign for our Hall candidate in the Gymkhana elections : our evening were packed for 3 weeks. My studies suffered badly. But it was also true that I hated the subjects taught in this semester, and had gotten bored with the academic system here (perhaps, the 'honeymoon period' with IIT was over). I also ran for the Dramatics secretary of the Hall in the hall elections, but lost to Anu Mishra (24:50). Most of the posts were uncontested, because ours' was a very small batch. I fell sick with gastroenteritis in April 2002, and had to be hospitalized for a day. I was weak for 10 days, and could not prepare for my End-Semester examinations. My semester performance was the worst in my life. I had not done so badly even after my double promotion! Fatigued, I finished the semester and went back home.
At home, I removed IIT from my mind completely. I needed a thorough mental spring-cleaning. Didi went through a miscarriage in early May. We all went to Command Hospital Kolkata, where she was recovering. A few weeks later, she came over to Sindri a few days. Then, dad-mom-me had a week-long trip to Puri, Odisha. It was the Snaan-yatra festival of Lord Jagannath, which mom and me watched very closely. I enjoyed strolling on the beach every afternoon. During this vacation, I learnt Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint) from my friend Raja (Sougata Chatterjee), who was proficient at it. I also took 4 weeks of C-programming classes from Raja's acquaintance who ran a small computer center at his home. Finally I picked up this skill and began enjoying it. I also read a timeless book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. It gave a a deep insight into human psychology, and why people behave the way they do. It made it easier for me the handle people from the next semester.
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Second Year
Our batch shifted to the adjoining Indira Gandhi Hall, which I was really looking forward to. Akansha Saxena was the Hall President, with Supriya as her Second-in-Command. The SN Hall was an old building with abandoned looks, while the IG Hall was a relatively newer construction with well-maintained looks. The washrooms were far better here. I was allotted the ground floor room of F-111. I cleaned the room thoroughly and then set it up beautifully. I have always been a low-entropy person. A promising phase was beginning, with a fresh mind and a fresh approach. I kick-started my life with vigor and was determined to bring it on track. I began avoiding all extra-curricular activities, whether in Hall or in the Gymkhana. I said 'No' to several things. All my batch-mates were Hall Council members, but not me. I avoided too many interactions with people. I decided to focus on academics and raise my grades. I pulled up my socks and started studying well. We had subjects in the Department now : Hydrostatics and Stability (Prof. D. Sen), Marine Hydrodynamics (Prof. T. Sahoo) and Ship Strength (Prof. S. K. Satsangi). There were also subjects in Maths and Humanities (Applied Organizational Psychology). I took serious notes in the class, and faired them in a separate notebook in the evening in my room. But I have not happy with the Laboratory classes, where we had to do sessionals. There were no teaching assistants around during those long lab hours. I took up late afternoon swimming in the campus pool thrice a week, where I knew no one. My sister visited me once in September and stayed overnight in my room.
In October, dad announced that he is retiring from his job at FCI in December 2002, two years ahead of schedule. FCI had be shut down by the Government of India, and its employees relieved under VRS (Voluntary Retirement Scheme). This meant that Sindri was going to be our past in a few months. My parents started moving stuff from Sindri to Kolkata in installments. They also started their "Moving Sale" : they sold off their sofa set, dining table set, grandpa's study table (which we sisters had used for years), scooter, and car. It was the end of an era. This was just a part of my parents' lives (16 years), but it was actually almost my whole life. What I knew as 'Home' was Sindri. Because I never liked big cities, their moving to Kolkata was not something I was looking forward to.
In October, I did a small role in an English Drama organized by the Nehru Hall, as a part of the 'Open IIT' English Drama competition. We won the third prize, and I also won the 'Best Supporting Actress". I also brought the Third Prize for the Hall in the Bengali Elocution. During the end-semester examinations, my Daadu passed away in Kolkata. He was 80. My parents were by his side for the last fortnight. He was bedridden for a few months, and died of old age. We did not know of any particular ailment of his. By now, my uncle's son was nine years old. Following this death, my mother was denied her legal right to her share of her father's property. This ended our relationship with the maternal side of my family. This December also saw another NSS Camp. When I reached Kolkata after the camp, it was Daadu's Shradhdh ceremony. I went to his house for the last time. Granny was in a state of daze. My sister, who was 3-months pregnant, avoided this ceremony. Also, she got down with Chicken pox and was quarantined for 4 weeks. Her sweet mother-in-law Shubhra looked after her during this time. Dad-mom-me left back for Sindri for one last time by the iconic train Black Diamond Express. There, I helped my parents in completing their moving sale. We were also invited to farewell dinners by our neighbors, family friends, dad's colleagues, etc. I took lots of pictures the house and its surroundings, which we would soon leave. By then, I had gotten a little used to with staying in our Kolkata house (though I did not like the locality). Then finally, on 1st January 2003, I left this beautiful house (F-122, Sindri) for ever and took the train to IIT for the next semester. I never saw Sindri again. That part of my life was over. Now I was concerned only about the future.
Spring semester had subjects exclusively in the Department : Elements of Ocean Engg (Prof. T. Sahoo), Resistance and Propulsion (Prof. A. Bhar), Marine Construction and Welding (Prof. N. R. Mandal) and Vibration of Ocean Structures (Prof. S. K. Satsangi). I avoided all extra-curricular activities this time, too.
On 17th February 2003, my parents shifted lock-stock-barrel to Kolkata, bidding a final Goodbye to Sindri, FCI, and township-lifestyle. They had spent 16 years and 8 months in this place. This is where we sisters grew up. We had always taken the Black Diamond Express to travel from Dhanbad to Howrah. For this last time, my parents took the Shatabdi Express. The furniture and houseware were shifted from Sindri to Kolkata by a truck on the same day. They settled down within a few weeks. Under a lot of cajoling, I did a cameo in the Inter-Hall Bengali Dramatics, and got the third prize. In summer, my sister gave birth to her son. He was named Sondhi, with pet name "Joy". We had a party thrown for him when he was six weeks old. We were joined by friends and relatives, who blessed the new-born with gifts.
Summer Internship : I had a 3-week internship at Garden Reach Shipbuilders and Engineers, Kolkata; which specializes in naval warships. My Manager was Mr. J.N. Roy (Design office) and Mr. Debashis Saha (Fitting-Out Jetty). This was for the first time that I understood how complex this profession is. I met lots of engineers and workers there, interacted with them, and learnt things hands-on. The three units for vast, with the design office, the construction floor, and the outfitting yard. I used to spend the whole day exploring the under-construction vessels. It was a physically demanding and tiring work, but I liked every single minute of it. I saw work going on. WORK. It was magical for me. The process of watching wealth-creation / wealth-generation was bliss for me. I knew this subconsciously since my school days, that I loved seeing work going on.
After the internship, I took C++ classes in the locality. This helped me throughout the rest of my semesters at IIT. I sold off my old blue bicycle, which repeatedly gave me trouble; and dad got me a new one (Altas) from Golbazar. In Early July, the wooden frame of my parents' bedroom's ceiling crashed in the middle of one night. They were both injured. They were saved from death only because the mosquito net covering their bed had partially broken the fall. My sister was in the next room with Joy. She immediately called up my Jeeju and his brother, who rushed from South Kolkata. Thankfully, mom-dad required only some first aid. My mother's right eye was bloodshot, and my dad's face had swollen. They were both injured on their face and shoulders. My sister vacated her room and left with Joy. For several weeks, the destroyed room lay unused, and my parents used her room. Once he healed, my dad got the ceiling renovated.
Third Year
In this year, I was allotted the top floor room of G-304. Sheetal Chawla was the Hall President, assisted by Suma Lall. By now, I had gotten used to the campus system (academic, hall, gymkhana, social). In the 2nd year, my academic performance had recovered handsomely and I gained back my confidence. That is why I could afford to join the HCM as the General Secretary (Mess) for the next academic year (2003-04). As the G.Sec (mess), I was assisted by three mess secretaries (Namita Jarika, Ranu Kumari, Sneha Prasad) and two mess auditors (Sudipta Roy and Priyanka Halder), all from the Second Year. The work involved setting the menu, monthly tender-opening of the mess suppliers, looking after the food quality, motivating the mess workers, etc. (I think I did well, because I was voted as the 'best hall council member' at the end of the academic year). It was a tough year with heavy course-load. Prof. S.C.Misra taught us Ship design. There were two subjects on Structures, taught by Prof. Abdul Hamid Sheikh. Another tough subject titled Motion and Control (Seakeeping and Manuevering) was taught by Prof. L.R.Raheja. The most interesting was CAD/CAM, taught by Prof. Om Prakash Sha. This semester was interesting. I used to look forward to most of the classes. The laboratory work load was there, and I enjoyed it.
In October, dad developed malignant malaria, and mom got malaria. Didi put mom under strong medicines, but dad became delirious one morning after being feverish overnight. His brain had been affected. Didi got him hospitalized immediately in the Eastern Command Hospital. After a couple of days in the ICU on life-support system, he improved, and spent another few days in the general ward. It was because of timely medical intervention that he could be saved. It was since then that my parents started to eliminate all mosquito-breeding spots in and around the house very religiously. In November, there was the first-rice ceremony of my nephew Sondhi.
In December, I worked for two weeks on a barge design project as a part of the Sundarban tourism development plan by Sahara India. I was paid handsomely for it. Then, I travelled to Naval Science and Technological Laboratory (NSTL, DRDO) for a week. A week-long CEP (Continuing Education Program) was organized by the HRW (Hydrodynamics Research Wing) and I attended it, along with some students from Andhra University. We saw the HSTT (High Speed Towing Tank), the Circulation Channel, and the Wind Tunnel. We also met several scientists and engineers of DRDO. I also saw the decommissioned Submarine INS Kursura on the Ramakrishna Beach. Visakhapatnam was beautiful. The Kailash mountain offered a wide view of the city.
The 6th semester saw subjects like Computational Fluid Dynamics (Prof. L.R.Raheja), High Performance Marine Vehicles (Prof. O.P.Sha), Introduction to Financial Management (offered by the Department of Industrial Engineering and Management), Marine Systems (Prof. S.C.Misra), and Marine Production and Planning (Prof. O.P.Sha). My habit of fairing the daily class notes continued, and were photocopied by several of my classmates a week before the exams. This is because my class attendance was consistently full, and I had all the notes. I regularly lent notes to Kartik Golecha, one of my classmates.
In the month of March 2004, my sister and her husband got posted to Hissar, Haryana. My parents travelled there for a few months to help look after Sandhi (Joy). I once again did a cameo in the Inter-Hall Bengali Dramatics, and we won the Third place.
Mumbai Sojourn : Once the semester got over, I went for a 8-week internship in Bharati Shipyard Ltd (BSL), with a small stipend. I stayed in IIT Bombay, Hostel#10. Mumbai was crowded, esp. in the rush hours. Every morning, I took the 40-min ride by the Central-Line local train from Kanjur Marg station to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus. The Design office of Bharati Shipyard was located there. My manager was Mr. R.C. Advani. Along with three batch-mates of mine, I worked there from 9:30 am to 5:30 pm. The same building had a canteen, from where I had 12/- lunch of Roti-Sabzi. I made a friend there, Dipali Kuchekar, an electrical engineer. She showed me the Marine Drive and the Chowpatty beach. We went there once a week after office. Within a week, I saw my first ship-launching, in the Godhbunder yard of BSL, which was very exciting. I also did the launching calculations for the same. Two weeks later, I spend a full week there, and witnessed another launching. The open-air construction yards were both interesting as well as challenging. In the month of June, I travelled to Ratnagiri for 10 days, where BSL had its outfitting yard. It was a very good experience, where I learnt a lot. In both the yards, I was surrounded by ogling men. But wait, it was a non-sexual stare; because shipyards are men-only places. I had to make people get used to seeing a woman in a shipyard. I accosted many in different shop floors and probed into their work, learnt, asked questions, and thanked them, and repeated it the next day. This whole circuit humanized me in their eyes. During this time, I read a book called 'The Magic of Thinking Big' by Dr. David Schwartz. It sparked a fire in me. I became highly ambitious.
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Fourth Year
I shifted to H-310. Anjali Sinha was the Hall President, and Nidhi Priya was her Second-in-Command. This year had subjects from other Departments : Power systems from Electrical Engg. and Advanced Fluid Mechanics from Mechanical Engg in the Autumn Semester, and Introduction to Propulsion Systems from Aerospace Engg. in the Spring Semester. I started working on my B.Tech project. I learnt a new software called SHIPFLOW. It was for computing the wave-making resistance of vessels with various geometries. As before, I saw the lack of planning of a project by the guide(s) and wasting of the students' time. I began wondering if academicians are even serious about mentoring and growing students.
In the Spring semester, I got serious about preparing for higher studies. Aiming for an MBA had become the norm on campus in this period. I realized that an MBA will lead me to such jobs where I cannot do technical work. That would not be my cup of tea. Therefore, I decided not to jump on the bandwagon. In the summer vacation, I studied for the GRE. Once again, Brilliant Tutorials helped me in the preparation.
During this time, I read an awesome book, titled 'The 48 laws of power' by Robert Greene, which was an eye-opener. This book simply transformed me. It was then that I unlearnt Mount Carmel. I became a changed person.
--- Relationships (?) ---
I tried a few relationship during my stay at IIT Kharagpur. None of them lasted. It was me who ended them. What I consistently saw were the following : lack of responsibility for the relationship, commitment-phobia, patriarchy (patrilineage, patrilocality, territorialism, male entitlement, male chauvinism, the works), insensitivity, carrying stereotypes about a 'girlfriend-material' (that she should be hot, coy, malleable, virgin), laziness, presumptuousness, bad habits like smoking, etc. In one word, I met immaturity. I was appalled at how badly Indian boys are brought up! There was not a single person whom I could admire. Only a few knew how to hold a normal conversation with the opposite sex. They lacked even the basic etiquettes and manners. (It was reminder of the boys I had seen in De Nobili School). In an engineering campus with a very skewed sex ratio, having a girlfriend was an 'achievement'! Hot girls were chased like sperms chasing an egg! I was amused at the biology around me. When I tried a relationship, I used to discuss things like the following : (a) What will be the child's last name, (b) We should have a nuclear family away from both sets of parents, (c) We should have only a court marriage and avoid patriarchal customs, (d) I will not change my surname, etc. The boys were too immature to enter into such discussions. I had tried to wean away several men away from patriarchy (whether in a relationship or otherwise), but failed. Every said, "Nabbo, what you are saying is absolutely correct, but.....". After several attempts, I gave up. No male wanted to forgo the advantages enjoyed due to patriarchy. Therefore, I could not respect any of them. Does not mater that they were IITians! Also, me exercising my choice in selecting a potential partner and ending relationships (because I was not satisfied) was perceived as 'this girl is overstepping the freedom bestowed on her by the society'! (It is because the egg does not go looking for the sperm, na!). All this led to an utter disappointment with the society in general. Because I am demi-sexual, I graduated single.
Fifth Year
This year, I stayed in F-307. It took me three months to prepare for this tough examination called GRE in August. During the same time, Indian Navy came for campus-placements to our department, and I was one among the six students to be selected, after two rounds of interviews. I started working on my M.Tech project, and learnt a new software called FLUENT. I used it to study the hydrodynamics of a marine propeller blade. Once again, I saw lack of planning, lack of assigned deliverables, lack of clear aims and objectives of the project. I was bored. As usual, guides gave very little time to undergraduate students, and focused on their PhD students. I was serious about working and learning, but there was no serious teacher around! Guides expected us to suddenly grow up and take charge and start projects on our own out of the blue! Was it even possible after being a product of the rote-learning-based Indian Education system?
This was followed by the TOEFL examination in October, which required the preparation of just one week. This was when my sister announced she was pregnant for the second time. To take a small break, I went to Chandipur, Odisha; where I collected three beach soil samples for my Coastal Engineering project. Chandipur has a rare beach with a 5 km tidal range. In November, my school friend Anusua Dutta visited me from Kolkata for a day.
Then began sending in the applications to several Universities in the USA for PhD. Filling in huge applications forms, getting transcripts, letters of recommendation, statements of purpose, etc., was a long tedious process. In February, I got placed in Larsen and Toubro, Mumbai. In March 2006, I was offered a full scholarship to University of Michigan for a PhD. I accepted it immediately. I ended the semester handsomely and compiled my thoughts here.
Summer saw a month-long visit to my sister's place in Hisar, where she gave birth to her second son, Jeet. IIT Kharagpur organize its 52nd Convocation ceremony on July 15th, 2006; and along with 600+ students, I received the Dual degree, attended by my parents. Then came August 16th, 2006, when I sat in an aeroplane and I left the country for my doctoral studies.
..........................................................To be continued.
