After 12 long excruciating years in academia, I was beginning a new chapter of life. Moved to Chennai. It was a one-way journey after 4.5 years. It was a quantum jump, perhaps a recreation of myself into a new avatar. Joined Vestas Technology R&D Chennai Pvt. Ltd., as Lead Engineer, Loads and Controls Value Engineering.
July 2023
After 48 hours after the final Stage 4 wind turbine site-visit at IIT Kharagpur and handing over the site keys to my promising junior colleague Dr. Chirodeep Bakli; I landed in Chennai on a one-way ticket, burnt out, with a broken body, and an exhausted mind. Reported to work on 10th July. Met my new manager (Bhalaji Subramanian), colleagues, and other team members. The company on-boarding was a nice, smooth process. Stayed in temporary accommodation in Hotel Park Plaza, Old Mahabalipuram Road; organized by the company.
After 17 years, I was suddenly starting afresh. I was no longer in academia : and I could clearly see the difference. Here, people had my back. They were there to guide me, introduce me, support me, mentor me, inform me, check on me. They hand-held me into the 3-month-long technical onboarding process. My work timings were nicely fixed, with meetings lined up during the day. Professionalism was all around me. Everything was organized and sorted. There was not a single concocted activity during the working hours. What a beautiful work environment I got! There was no one behaving rudely, nor shouting, nor throwing attitude, nor being snooty, nor criticizing, nor judging. Unbelievably healthy minds were around me, working cooperatively. I always had company for lunch, which was new to me.
Suddenly, for the first time in my career, there was work-life balance, which I had never known before. I did not work on weeknights and weekends, as I had been doing since I started my PhD in mid-2006. The office building had the ACs turned off at 530 PM, forcing us to go home. The moment I was out of the office, I did not have to think about work. Whoa! In the last 12 years, I had thought about work most of my waking time, which totals to about 20 years of a normal 9-to-5 job. Workaholism suddenly disappeared; and I had no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever.
August 2023
Settled down in a beautiful airy 1350 sqft 3BHK in the 10th floor of a high-rise apartment complex, well connected to various parts of the city. The landlord was Mr. Guhan Kandaswamy, settled in Tunisia. All the rooms had a stunning view of the busy 200ft Thuraipakkam-Pallavaram road, reflecting against the Pallavaram lake (pictured below). Slowly unpacked my belongings over a month and settled down. Threw away junk from the past : donated it to my building staff one by one. Got acquainted with the electrician, plumber, cleaner, watchman, society manger, etc.
My mind remained blank for several weeks. After 17 years of holding my mind ransom in academia (doing research, writing papers, teaching classes, setting up R&D facilities, mentoring students, attending conferences, giving talks and guest lectures, doing administrative work), I was finally able to rest. Mentally rest. Quitting academia was the best decision of my life. The mind was relieved of the toxicity of a campus-bound academic career. I was starting a new life, in a new place, in a new career, surrounded by new people. There was nothing to remind me of my past. I was once again breathing free. Everything was starting from scratch again. They say, 'life begins at 40'. I had dissolved everything from the past and had moved on, reclaiming my place in the world.
I was not in a rush. I was hitting the reset button : I wanted my new life to unfold slowly and organically. Sab kuchh pichhe chod kar aayi thhi. The past was behind me : academia, relationships, pain, struggles, compromises, stress, pressure. The psychological wounds from my 12-year exile had just begun healing. I needed time. I wanted to do nothing, think nothing, feel nothing. I just wanted to let myself be. I just wanted to do the bare minimum to sustain myself, and then simply do nothing.
Met Deepak Jha, an engineer from Nordex and a PhD aspirant at IIT Madras; my LinkedIn acquaintance.
I continued to suffer from back pain. I got a deep tissue massage : the professional told me I have very tight back muscles. Long drives and long sitting aggravated the problem. At the end of every work day, I would reach home at around 6 pm and crash : I somehow got up and had dinner.
September 2023
My Big sister (Didi) planned to visit me at Chennai in my new apartment. I was excited to host her, but in 12 hours of her arrival, I suffered from a slip disc (L4-L5). Excruciating sciatica pain started in my right leg. I could no longer stand much. Near my house was the Dr. Rela Institute and Medical Centre, the 2nd best hospital in Chennai. We went there immediately and got an MRI done : the report was bad. The orthopedic asked to watch for 5 days before scheduling a surgery (micro-discectomy). Got almost bed-ridden with sciatica pain for 6 days, before being hospitalized one night in excruciating agony in the right leg. I felt the leg was being repeatedly electrocuted! Painkillers had stopped working for the last 8 hours. It was 1:30 AM at night that I called the emergency ambulance and was rushed to the hospital. My sister followed me in my car. In the emergency ward, after repeated painkiller drips failed, I was put on narcotic drugs to numb my right leg and alleviate the pain. Didi had a sleepless night doing the formalities. The next day, in the general ward, I was bedridden in intermittent pain, with my sister by my side all the time. It was another excruciating 24 hours before the surgery. When I finally woke up from the anesthesia, I noticed that the nerve pain was gone : only a tingling in my right thigh remained. I was shifted to a semi-private room. The next morning, I was helped to stand on my feet and walk in the room. Medicinal drips continued. A high-protein diet was recommended. By the evening, I was able to walk in the hospital corridor. The next day afternoon, I was discharged. Didi completed the formalities and drove me back home. She looked after me for another week, cooking nutritious meals and reminded me of my medicines. She even unpacked the last few relocation cartoons from KGP! I was able to walk around and be on my own by then. After my first post-op visit, Didi went back to Kolkata. I took the 3rd week off from work, recovering and regaining some strength.
Visit of Rupeshkumar Verma, CMD of Oceanergy, Mumbai.
October 2023
Started working from home. My manager and colleagues were very supportive. They made sure I did not strain myself. Completed my tools and process training in 2 weeks, with ample support from my team members. Got a new ergonomic chair for my WFH setup.
Visit of Amrita Mitra, my Chaddi-buddy, from Bengaluru, Manager (Business optimization), Adobe.
As my energy level slowly started to rise, I began looking forward to a new life. Finally I was relaxed and stress-free. Set up my home laptop (with big screen and printer). Deleted all 'order-in' apps. Planned a nice light diet with fruits and vegetables. Set up the treadmill in the study-room and started slow short walks (while taking breaks from work). Began morning yoga and light aerobics. Started having soaked almonds (04), peanuts (10), raisins (10) daily. Increased my (low-fat) milk intake to 450 ml per day. Water intake rose to 3 litres per day. I began to practice slow, mindful eating : I could not torture my body anymore. Meal sizes dropped. I was at peace. I was tranquil. Listened to beautiful meditation music as often as I could. Practiced deep breathing everyday, gazing out of my 10th floor bedroom window every morning overlooking the Pallavaram lake : I was actually heaving the much-awaited sighs of relief, grateful to my destiny to have finally made everything fall into place. After decades, I was beginning to savor life. It was high time that I deserved a settled, laid-back existence. I was no longer 'in the race'. I relaxed. After three months of shifting to a new job and a new city, I began seeing the first signs of recovery from my burnout. The psychological detoxification had began. I was no longer in a rush : I consciously slowed down everything.
Began enjoying slow-paced movies like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011) and Khubsoorat (2014).
But the emotional healing was yet to begin. I was starting on a fresh slate after decades.
November 2023
Started making new friends. Went out on dates. Started getting acquainted with neighbors around.
Had back pain, on and off. Went to the hospital again. Took rest. Got better.
This quarter of the year saw a lot of mental catharsis : I was clearing my head of my past, changing equations with people, thinking about the future.
Hosted my junior colleague Md. Ishtiyak and his family for a few days, before he moved into his new rented apartment nearby.
December 2023
Witnessed cyclone Michaung. On December 4th, there were strong howling winds throughout the day. There was no grid power supply for ~24 hours : the society had a power backup which was almost running out. Internet connected restored 48 hours later.
Gave my first project presentation to my Manager, Tech. Lead, and my colleague. Got my confirmation, ending the probation period.
Visited National Institute of Wind Energy (NIWE), and introduced myself to the Director-general, Dr. Rajesh Katyal.
I was still psychologically healing. Went for a meditation class : sadly it did not help. Relaxed a lot. Watched Mahabharat again. Cleared my head. Had long conversations with my father, Dhananjoy Datta. Received motivation to make new plans.
Back pain returned again for a few days. I found I have to avoid long drives and treadmilling. Rested and got better. Started walking in my apartment complex premises in the evenings, enjoying the breeze and listening to motivational podcasts.
Stage 5 of the IIT KGP Wind Turbine Project picked up fast, with the digital twin beginning to take shape. The students used Matlab Simscape/Multi-body, and I supplied them with data to fine-tune it.
Re-connected with IIT Madras, Prof. Rajiv Sharma, Dept. of Ocean Engineering. Made plans of guest lectures.
-----------------------------------------
These six (06) months were just the beginning of my new life. Because I don't live the same 'year' again and again in every year of my life, I take a breather before starting a new chapter. Often, that lasts for 6-12 months. I could see that everything is slowly falling into place. Keeping a low profile, I kept the basics going on : my job, my wind turbine project, my health recovery, my mental rejuvenation, and networking.
