You are a citizen of the largest democracy. You live in a free country. You deserve your independence. So LIVE YOUR LIFE! Be free. You are not answerable to most people. There is a personal life, true. But there also is, an individual life, of your own. Live like a free bird. Take bold steps. Take your own decisions and be ready for the results.
First things first : Become financially independent. Have your own place to stay. Stop oscillating between your Maayka (birth home) and Sasural (Husband's father's house), not knowing exactly which is YOUR place. Belong to yourself. It is a MUST. Create your own small kingdom, where your wish rules. Every living creature needs to satisfy this aspect of their existence.
Refuse to live like a servant. Defend your boundaries. Say 'NO!' and live your own life, instead of living someone else's life. People want to control others. Dominance is instinctive. So, refuse to be controlled. Ask them to 'mind their own business'. No one can intrude in your life. Live life according to your own terms.
You are NOT responsible for anyone else's happiness. Do not love others if they do not love themselves. Never be apologetic about having high standards : those you love you will raise their own standards to catch up with you. NEVER downplay yourself.
Assert yourself. Do not allow any pre-conceived notion to derail your life. Dare to think out-of-the-box, and encourage others to join you. Steel yourself against being manipulated by "guilt". Do NOT divert from your resolve. Do NOT cave in. Do NOT give the impression that you 'can be handled'. Nobody is allowed to put words into your mouth. NEVER be defensive.
Walk out at the slightest disrespect. People should speak to you with dignity, or get lost from your life. NO CAN DARE BE RUDE TO YOU.
Every person is a free individual, with full liberty. NO one can encroach into your personal freedom. You have the right to live your life according to your own terms.
Never avoid a confrontation : its solves problems quickly and clears the air. Cold shoulders and silent treatments work only with a few. Go for a once-it-for-all confrontation and settle the matter. Don't let the wound simmer. Repair it with a suitable revenge. Healthy revenges enhance your life : check Mahabharat for details. It is full of revenges (Amba/Sikhandi, Duryodhan, Dronacharya, Drupad, Shakuni, Draupadi, Bheem, Arjun, Ashwathhama; all take their revenges).
Vs.
Which picture of life are you? Which one would you prefer to be? Decide quickly.
Be self-reliant emotionally.Are you a sucker for social validation?! You do NOT need anyone' certification to feel good about yourself. Kick that insecurity out of your mind. Why should you go to anyone? People should come to you. You should be able to draw them to you by your (professional) talent.
Be self-reliant emotionally.Are you a sucker for social validation?! You do NOT need anyone' certification to feel good about yourself. Kick that insecurity out of your mind. Why should you go to anyone? People should come to you. You should be able to draw them to you by your (professional) talent.
Why should you be sad / cry when someone else is inadequate? Just chuck these people out of your life. Love only those people who deserve your love. Be strong in your determination to be happy, come what may.
Do NOT allow judgmental people to ruin your life. Do not allow them to back-track on your life's decisions. Stop sleepwalking through life. Stop living instinctively, driven by 'norms'. Decide for yourself what you want to do in life. Think. Think deeply. Do NOT do anything, simply because you are "expected" to do it. DO it only because YOU want to do it. Be strong in stating what you feel is right. Put your foot down and live life according to your own principles.
Do not try to be conventional, when you know you can be exceptional. Refuse to live a pre-programmed life. You are NOT a robot. Never say, "Aisa hi hota aa raha hain". Think differently. You have the brains, right? Remind yourself of what your deserve. Snap out of your comfort zone, and take risks. Show yourself better and better things in life. Re-motivate yourself to live life to the fullest. Lead a life of fulfillment, excitement, hope, and satisfaction. Solve your problems, instead of chronically suffering them.
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One needs to know, and search for, and find oneself. One needs to temporarily withdraw from the society, be in pure, unadulterated solitude, think (feel) deeply for a sufficiently long period of time; in order to recollect the SOUL, residing in the bio-chemical system called the human BODY. The way (path) to do that is through the neuro-chemical element called the MIND, aided by the Sahasrara Chakra (Pituitary Gland). Take your time. Know yourself. Take an efficient advantage of solitude and reinvent yourself.
Smile. Love people. Praise. Encourage. Compliment. Gently nudge them in the right direction. Be idealistic, and shower it upon others. Wah hi karo, jo sahi hain.
Speak idealistically : everybody has a need to follow their Dharma (inherent property). Nature stays true to its Dharma : it does NOT corrupt. It is absolutely disciplined. It has its own rhythms and patterns. It does NOT break rules. You, as a human being, you are a drop of that ENERGY, having the same Dharma. Corruption only disturbs the energy balance. When this disturbance reaches unbearable proportions, Nature erupts in fury and crushes those who tried to (dared to) corrupt it. With a certain critical mass of corruption, Nature explodes into calamity, destroying everything.
Any A-Dharma is against Nature : you will be crushed if you corrupt. Every individual should self-teach and self-educate themselves about life. Self-reliance promotes survival (read flourish) : and your life is your responsibility.
Dharma is the Equilibrium of this oscillating energy-system called Universe. Our Sanaatan duty is to raise that bar continuously, generation after generation. Every single day, you need to do your Duty (Dharma).
Outer disturbances create unnecessary vibrations (noise) in your system. Solitude allows you the time to damp them out, and restore your natural frequency. But not all external disturbances are bad. See what a teacher/mentor/guide/coach does to you. They enhance your Dharma.
Inspiration : it is the external energy, whose frequency amplifies yours.
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Speak your mind, and then villainous stress-hormone cortisol will vanish. No more insulin-insensitivity, and no more of Type-2 diabetes! Is India (the diabetes capital) listening? STOP acting for God's sake! Acting (falsehood) stresses your conscious, subconscious, and unconscious minds. The worst untruth is the one spoken to oneself. Stop convincing yourself that you are happy when you know you are NOT! Is India listening?
The one and ONLY path towards happiness is HARD WORK. Nothing else gives fulfillment. Being lazy is equal to allowing others to write your destiny. Hard work makes you happy, proud, confident.Hard work is your fundamental duty. Being your best self is your Dharma. Do not "wait" for your dreams to come true. Realize them RIGHT now! Be bold. Take risks. Be responsible for your own decisions. If you want to enjoy your life, you need to make sacrifices. True freedom comes from taking full responsibility of your life.
When the perspiration due to hard work glitters on your forehead, you look handsome!!!!
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For most people, life is a time-pass. They don't know why they are living on this planet. They do not know how to kill their time on earth. People are simply waiting to die. Somehow they will "pass the time" they have been gifted by God on this beautiful planet, with stupid festivals (whose reason they have forgotten), parties, fights, debates, wars, gossips, marriage celebrations, ceremonial gatherings, rituals, etc., etc. '
Dear World!
Get out of my way! Leave me alone! Stop expecting ordinary behavior from me. Stop advising me what to do, and start minding your own business. I cannot behave ordinarily : I have big dreams and ambitions. I will handle my life with my own intelligence. I will NOT slow down for anyone : you catch up with me or get left behind. I have my own convictions, and I will NOT compromise on them. I am determined to make a life of exactly my choice. I am NOT scared of anyone. I have refused to take 'advice' anymore. I have decided to STOP ACTING 'like others'. I have stopped feeling "guilty". I have accepted my uniqueness and decided to hone it. I have refused to tolerate any judgmental behavior. I can dare a confrontation now. I have released myself from traditional expectations of the society. I have full faith on my original incorruptible self. I have learnt how to dissipate all my negative energies and reset/refresh my soul. I have decided to refuse all compromises in life. I have taken the life-long decision to maintain high standards. I have already learnt how to pull myself out of crap and write my own experience of life. I have become an exponentially stronger person. Having taken charge of my life and working harder to improve it, I feel more confident. I respect my own decisions and am sticking to them vehemently. Life has taken an enormous upswing. I am raring to go!
Signed
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Nabanita Datta
