January 2025
After a 2-week vacation, I was looking forward to starting work, but fell sick with a bad laryngitis. Lost my voice for over a week.
As a new technical lead (TL), and working with a new Senior Technical Lead (STL)/Value Stream lead (VSL), I began enjoying my work more. Handling 2-3 projects at time, content-switching between them, managing stakeholders, clearing off my table of all pending work, all of this began giving me a new high.
Invited talk at Danfoss, "Noise and Vibration in Pumps". Met Dr. Thangasivam Gandhi and his team. It was a 3-hour talk. I got good reception and feedback.
February 2025
Started making to-do lists every morning at work. It was more exciting : to be on the top of work now. I saw more stakeholders aligning with me and counting on me directly.
Little did I know it was the calm before the storm.
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Just when I was reaching this equilibrium, my manager said he is 'not happy' with me, esp. with my "developmental activities", e.g. "corporate behavior"! The yearly appraisal was politically manipulated and intentionally screwed, with the sinister motive to drive me out of the organization.
Shelving of Offshore Wind Turbine projects and cancelling of Projects in USA (due to policies of Trump) made the situation bad. The company was not doing well. Layoffs were looming large on mid-career people (who were too expensive).
I could see who back-stabbed me. I realized everyone is everyone's enemy in corporate. It was painful but I had to cut off ties with them for good.
March 2025
After a one-week vacation at Kolkata, I pulled up my socks and started working harder (wrong decision). But I started feeling burnt out. This was neither sustainable nor required : it was already over for me. My meetings with my boss had gotten increasingly difficult for me in the last one year. He was nitpicking on trivial issues, not related to work at all. It was only about people management (read politics). People were stealing credit for my work. The boss has innumerable blind spots : he just could not see anything unless it was showcased and reminded of him on a daily basis. I could see how people were doing that quite smoothly, and the boss was getting swept off his feet. It was all about show-off.
This was just not a place for me. I polished my CV and started looking for a new job.
April 2025
I had a frank discussion with my manager. It was simply not working between us. I was not able to cater to his corporate expectations, and I felt grossly under-utilized as a resource. I did not come here to do clerical work! I did not come here to get belittled by people half of my age/ qualification/ knowledge/ experience technical acumen. I did not want to work in a place where your competence counts only 10%, and the rest 90% goes for "people skills" (politics, faking, diplomacy, smooth-talking, showcasing, shallowness, back-biting, stealing credit, etc.). That is supposedly called "Corporate behaviour". This was so not me! I have gotten used to high technical standards for decades. What is saw here was abysmal. The work standards were appalling. The technical expertise of the team was almost non-existent. It made my head reel. Everyone was simply running tools and processes like clerks. A single undergraduate level technical sentence from me scared off people. I was epic-level bored by Sept 2024 itself. I understood nothing would improve. Technical communication, presentation, and writing skills were zilch. A few hardworking sincere people were getting overlooked and sidelined, while those who buttered the boss got out-of-turn promotions. All my innovative ideas was brushed under the carpet in the last one year : I was asked only to run tools and processes. I felt ignored all the time. My brain was seemingly rotting here. From Day 01, I never connected with this job. Every task was almost an irritating activity for me. The messy process was actually hurting my brain. I kept doing it extremely reluctantly. Sitting before the screen all day long, using the keyboard, headset, and mouse non-stop, having low-substance long meetings (with no one taking responsibility), flowery managerial jargon flying past in emails and calls, it all appeared extremely shallow. I was exasperated and unhappy. The meetings and discussions were so boring that my mind used to wander away. I had to put in excruciating effort to keep myself focused on any discussion. Nothing was worth my effort here. The job was repetitive and there were no milestones for me. I cannot recall a single feeling of achievement at anytime during the 2 years. Everything was pretty mundane. I was (ridiculously) called out for skill-gaps in Microsoft Office! Was that the reason I was hired here?! The boss gave random developmental activities over the year. Raising issues always backfired : the boss was too retaliatory. His micromanagement was exasperating to most team members. He always asked personal questions and poked his nose into personal/family decisions of people. 5 out of 15 people quit in the last 6 months of 2024.
I cannot play this game. It is not my nature. I have been a solid person since childhood. I cannot fake and showcase things and usurp undue credit. I cannot suck up to higher management. Perhaps this low-IQ job was never for me. I realized how much I missed research : my comfort zone, where I could work passionately and was in my best professional self. Actually, talent needs freedom. It needs space to give great outputs. Excellence does not come with a sword hanging over your head. Industry turned out to be a place of mediocrity (or inferiority?). I was sitting among the wrong species. This was so not my tribe. It was time to return to my heights again.
But I shall remain thankful for the knowledge, the experience, and the brand value.
Truthfully, I had not 'joined' this company. I was only wanting to move to a big city after 12 years in a small town. But I had had enough. This was only a sojourn. It was actually me who was faking all alone, without the meta-cognition. I was trying to convince myself that this was going to be the future. But all connections don't work. This was one such failed attempt. I could not pretend anymore. I just cannot do this low-IQ activity. That is why I have been disinterested all along. It was time to respectfully exit. I needed to abrase my brain of all the low-IQ rust it had accumulated. I had almost forgotten who I am. I had forgotten the sound of my own voice, which had not addressed a full room for 2 years. Ties to a laptop for a full day, having routine clerical tasks (in the name of engineering to be done), sitting at yawn meetings, do boring repetitive work : this was just not me.
It was time to part ways. It was a professional mutual divorce. The two-year association was over.
I took about a week to process this huge change again coming in my life. Emotions (frustration and anxiety) ran high. Future became uncertain once again. Thankfully, lots of friends supported me through this, especially Deepak Jha (Specialist at Nordex). He put it really well for me : "I was a warhorse, being asked to dance in the wedding!" Another friend said, "Even Hanuman had forgotten his powers, and Jaambavant had to remind him, and then Hanuman came into his full form to fly across the ocean". A third friend said, "It is unfair I lose sleep over this in spite of having an accomplished CV". A professional contact was shocked, and so were several friends. Some kept sending me links to various suitable openings, very thoughtfully.
Began feeling better after 15 days. I had moved on. I was back in the market : for the first time in real! Was ready for the thrill!
It was time for Brihannala to shed the incognito mode and become Arjun again.
May 2025
Started contacting my network far and wide. Contacted various top universities of India. Found lots of support. Academia applications started.
Applied to Mahindra University (MU), Hyderabad, Department of Mechanical and Aerospace engineering. Travelled to Hyderabad to present my research seminar and interact with the faculty. Interacted with the Head of the Dept. Prof. Debasis Chakraborty, and several other faculty. Gave my first research seminar in two years! Felt so good! My muscle memory was still there. I felt alive again! Talking in front of an audience in a seminar room, explaining technical depth of my research, showcasing my IIT KGP wind turbine project, detailing my future R&D and teaching plans : it was just the first return to the magic!
June 2025
Academia applications continued. Applied to BITS (all three campuses in one go), IITB, IITM.
Had a second round of (online) interview at MU with the external panel. Met Prof. Sriram (IITM, AE) and Prof. D.K. Maiti (IITKGP, AE), along with the Dean of MU (Dr. Bishnu Pal) and the VC (Dr. Yajulu Medury).
Negotiations began the next week, and was finalized with a good hike from my CTC at Vestas.
Resigned from Vestas. It was a 3-month notice period. Started reducing the workload. Worked from home.
Contacted NIOT and NIWE.
July 2025
August 2025
September 2025
Wrapping up from Chennai.
October 2025
Welcome Hyderabad.
November 2025
December 2025
