Get a life, you Indian woman! Stop being a Loser.

The typical Indian woman is one bloody Loser!

Look at this signature picture from the 1994 Bollywood blockbuster "Hum Aapke Hain Kaun".
What do you see here? A girl (right) is getting married and leaving her father (centre) and going to live with her husband (left). There are two families here. The father "donates" her (Kanyaa-daan), and the husband assumes charge of her. Her surname is changed (she cannot be her own identity). She now belongs to a new "group".  She comes "under the fold" of her husband's lineage. Her father cries because he is the "losing team", and now has to learn to live without her. (On the other hand, the boy's father will continue to enjoy his son with him till his death).
What do I see here? I can see three separate individuals, with three individual brains/will, individual jobs/occupations, individual identities, and individual wealth-generating capabilities. I can see three citizens of India, with the same fundamental rights and duties. I do not care whether there is any blood relation/legal relation among them : it does not change their professional abilities or their fundamental rights.
Yes. It is time to change our attitude, our outlook. It is time to transform the way we look at ourselves and others. Take off the patriarchy-coated glasses and see again.
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We are all constantly making vague statements: "Society must change", "There should be a change in the mindset of the people", "The sick society needs to be treated", "We must change the system", blah.... blah.....blah.....What IS that change? Be brave to say it. Spell it out in black and white (no grey opinions).

Here it is. Get ready to hear it bluntly.
"Betiyaan Shaadi kar ke Sasural chale jaati hain"......Discard this yuck idea immediately!
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Stop obeying Manu-Smriti. Be a financially independent, complete, wholesome, self-sufficient, self-reliant person. Stop crying and saying "Sajan-Ghar main chali".  Discard the idea of Maayka (father's house) and Sasural (father-in-law's house) : get your own house with your husband. Buy your own property. Have your own Roti, Kapda, Makaan. You are much bigger than two suitcases. You are not a shallow sapling that can be uprooted form your father's house and planted in your husband's courtyard. Is a woman a social refugee, who needs to seek shelter either from the husband or the father? Be a deep-rooted tree, like the National Tree banyan. Have your own property and stop inheriting your father's/husband's property.

Lord(?) Rama can drive away his pious (or stupid?) wife Sita from his house. But if she has her own house, can anyone drive her out from there?

Remember you have the same fundamental rights as your husband (Articles 14-32 of the Constitution of India). Read Article 376 of the Indian Penal code (rape). Remember you form 50% of the society : you are not a minority. 

The groom is not doing a favor to you by marrying you. Marriage is a symbiotic relationship, not a boss-employee one. So refuse to tolerate any bossy behavior. Stop taking your husband's 'permission' for anything you want to do : be your own master. Don't feel happy when your husband says "I will give you full freedom". Who is he to "give" you freedom?  You are already born free. Freedom is your absolute birthright : no one can "give" or "take" it from you. It is a free, democratic country; remember?

Stop considering yourself as a transferable property : have your own house, which is neither your Maayka (father's house) nor your Sasural (husband's father's house). Stop undergoing Kanyaa-daan TODAY! Stop wearing sindoor, mangalsutra, or any signs to 'announce' you are married. Why don't men do that? Question that, and demand answers right away. Anyone who does not bother to answer you does not deserve your love. Stop agreeing to patrilocality. Why should it be assumed that the girl will relocate upon marriage? And I am not hinting at Ghar-Jamai-s. I am talking of you and your husband forming a third, separate, nuclear unit. If real (read swabhimaani) men find the "Ghar-Jamai" concept ridiculous, they should find the "Ghar-Bahu" concept equally ridiculous. Women also can be (should be)  Swabhimaani, correct?

Stop thinking that your husband will be the centre of gravity of your life : you have your own gravity and own momentum. Stop thinking that you are incomplete without a man. Stop auditioning for the "job" of a wife. Stop "complaining" to your husband : sit for a negotiation. Remember that two equals need a negotiation : he alone cannot decide what you both will do. He cannot take family decisions alone. Stop thinking Y-chromosomes to be superior : your child must have your name also. Those who think that a person's identity comes from the father only, are nothing by Murkh.

Don't allow others to call you "Miss" or "Mrs" so-and-so. Interrupt right away, and  firmly demand 'Ms.' addressal at the very first instant (Don't let the conversation proceed). You need not announce to the world whether you have been f**ked or not. Forge your own identity.....otherwise you will be known as Mrs. so and so. The word "Mrs" has an intrinsic 'secondary-ness' in-built into it : that you come second after your husband. People should know you by who you are, not by who your husband is. Never use the words "Pati" or "Swami" for your husband : both these words stand for "owner" or controller". Your husband does NOT own you, and he cannot control you. Use the words  'spouse' : it places you and him on a equal footage.

Reject the joint-family system : it is patriarchal, where the nuclear is male and the women are electrons revolving around it. Two brothers are permitted/expected to stay together, while two sisters are dispersed into other patriarchal families. This is a divide-and-rule policy of the men, in order to rule effectively over women. I had a student of mine, who said, "We are a joint family of four brothers, but we will never marry girls who are from the same family." Do you get the reason?  It is be difficult to turn two sisters against each other, who are together since childhood. He/his family does not want the two sisters gain a combined strength in their patriarchal family and cause a house-quake. Divide-and-rule: unabashedly. You will see businesses/shops named like "Sharma Brothers", but not "Sharma Sisters"; you will see shops named "Mehta and Sons", not "Mehta and Daughters". Kolkata boasts of "Priyo Gopal Bishoyi and Grandsons", with the grand-daughters 'donated away' to strangers. Why? Sisters and daughters to shaadi kar ke paraayi ho gayi!!! (If you ever find "Sharma Sisters",  you can be 99% sure that they will be spinsters).
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Stop taking your motherly role too seriously. Stop taking your wifely role too seriously. Stop playing Ghar-Ghar! You don't have to wait upon others all the time. Stop "being there" too often for others : let others solve their own problems. You are not their lives' goalkeeper/bailout option/last resort. If they mess up, let them suffer. Don't "love" others too much. Stop picking up your husband's used plates from the dining table. Mardon ko sar pe chadaana band karo. If he does not do his laundry, it is not your problem. Stop 'mothering' your husband : he is not your son. Allow and expect him to grow up and become your equal. Stop being a caretaker. Stop being an assistant. Stop thinking yourself as a subset of your husband. Stop being a nose-poker. Mind your own business. You don't have to bother where your husband kept his socks. Stop assuming artificial, concocted responsibilities. Let others take care of themselves. If you do others' jobs, you disturb the energy balance of the universe : everyone is supposed to draw his/her own weight. Teach your son home-administration, cooking, and cleanliness. Expect this from his father everyday, instead of flowers and smiles and hugs. Divide household work from from Day 1. Think of your husband as a permanent room-mate and be practical in sharing the duties : stop "loving" him too much. If your spouse considers these 'aurat ka kaam' below his 'dignity', dump him  because he does not respect women (Don't nag him and brood as expected : nagging is so 20th century yaar!).
In a job interview, if you are asked, "How will you balance between the job and family?"; your reaction should be, "Have the male candidates been asked the same question? I will answer only if they have also convincingly answered it".

Stop holding on to someone for your happiness : hold on to yourself. Be your own emotional anchor. Love yourself more than anyone else (it is natural and instinctive to do so). Stop crying if someone is rude: learn to answer back (by doing enough homework). Be happy in your own world, irrespective of others. No one should have the power to influence your moods/ temperament/ feelings. Be so self-assured that no one can insult you. Be so lofty in your self-respect that no attack/insult gets registered. No one on earth should be able to make you cry.

Stop watching house-wifely television serials, which are regressive to the extreme. "Daughter-in-law" is a relation, not an employment. Getting married is NOT equal to "getting a job". No body can command you. Nobody can interfere in your schedule for his/her needs. Stop being goody-goody, "yes-yes" girl, too agreeable, unquestioning, blind. Have your own opinions : it is OK to disagree with your husband at times. No one will hang you. Stop watching Suraj Barjatiya movies, all patriarchal, patrilocal, patrilineal. Stop giving him awards for providing "healthy, wholesome" entertainment. Patriarchy is NOT healthy : it has made the society SICK! Patriarchy follow karoge to life "pat-ri" se utar jayegi. NO wonder we have an unhealthy society with depression, suicides, and drugs increasing. 

Stop decorating yourself physically too much. Stop objectifying yourself. It is not your job to visually please men, and cause erections and ejaculations all the time. Stop putting red lipsticks : which symbolizes the inviting vagina (When a woman is sexually excited, the vagina turns red due to an increased blood flow in the region). Stop putting on silly make-up. "Make-up" means to 'compensate for'. Are you lacking something that you will compensate for it? Who drilled into your subconscious that, as a woman, you are inadequate and must constantly strive to 'improve'? Where is your self-esteem. (Swaabhimaan)?  You are perfect exactly the way you are. 

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Stand on your own legs : don't lean on your husband's shoulder. Refuse to be carried on your husband's back for the journey called life. Be financially independent : this will eradicate dowry completely. Dowry stands for the boarding-lodging-fooding charges in the hotel called Sasural. If you earn you own money, the logic of dowry does not work. Buy your own vehicle : stop depending on your husband to escort you around.

Look after your own finances. Manage your bank account, invest your money individually, pay your own taxes, file your own tax returns. Get you own professional Identity card, Passport, Driver's License, PAN, Adhar card, ration card, voter identity card, credit card. (And please don't ask your husband to look after them!). Grow rich : you deserve it. Some women are only as rich as their fathers/husbands : but you need not be. Earn and create your own wealth. And your husband's income need not be your upper limit : if you are capable, surpass him 'guilt'-free. (If your hubby cannot stand it, it is his problem).

Buy 5-10 kg dumb-bells and start weight-training from today. Join the gym. Strength-train for both upper and lower body agility. Run 2+ km per day. Learn to do push-ups (NO knee-push-ups please!). Remember : physical strength is the basic pristine definition of strength, since the dawn of civilization. It will be useful in countering any domestic violence, and warding off marital rape. Move heavy furniture/appliances in the house. Carry your own luggage during travels. Do 5-10 kg grocery/green-grocery shopping bindaas! Climb ladders to check the water-tank/electric main switch. Mow the lawn, jack up your car, change a burnt fuse wire, replace a flat tire, check the water supply valves and drainage outlets YOURSELF. Consistently show your self-reliance to the world, and don't bother if labeled androgynous.

Smile less : maintain a graver appearance and make people slightly fear you. Talk less (v.imp). Be busy. Don't give the appearance that you have all the time in the world. No one should come and waste your time. Look dignified all the time. Carry your no-nonsense attitude with grace, yet add a dash of humor which women traditionally lack.

Have sex actively, don't simply (passively) get "sexed", lying on your back. Understand the power definition arising from sex : you need to take charge 50% of the time. Understand that all power-play arises from sex : it is a millenia-old psychology, present even among animals.  Ditch that regressive missionary position : it shows, as if, sex is something that a man "does", and a woman "is done to". He is your husband does not mean he has the right over your body any time. Sex cannot and should not happen unless both the spouses are interested. On that over-hyped 'Suhaag Raat', have sex if and only if you are interested. You don't have to behave as if 'first-night-sex' is the first assignment of your married life, and that your hubby has the right to 'do it' to you anytime he wants, and you are a prisoner-of-war. Sex is not a male monopoly. Sex without love is trash : and you did not marry to robotize yourself. Be true to your feelings and respect them. if he is "doing you", you should also be "doing him", right?

Look after your parents. Provide them money. Be a daughter, and prove that daughters can also look after her old parents. Don't take your in-laws too seriously. Stop ditching your own parents and giving more importance to our husband's parents. Your husband also looks after his own parents, right? Does he give more importance to your parents before his own parents? If he is a loyalist, why are you a separatist?
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No one became famous/successful/accomplished by being a housewife. Tear out the "Gender" chapter form the grammar book : you will not come second only because you don't have a Y-chromosome.

P.S. Have you thought why there are so many women's organizations around, but there no men's organizations? Because, men are already organized by patriarchy. Women need to organize themselves (in reaction, or in compensation) and support each other, to maintain the Energy balance of this Universe.

http://www.womenofindia.net/FIRST_WOMEN.htm

How to end Rape : Final Solution.

Disclaimer : this is not out of a newspaper/news channel report. This is not some boring cynical documentary about crimes against women. 
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Mulk Raj Anand told a story in "A pair of Mustachios', in which a wealthy and arrogant man lost his total wealth, only to hold onto the twist of his mustache. He took his privilege to twist his mustachios too seriously.

To end Rape, we need a sea change in our attitudes and basic definitions of self-esteem. Let us start from the original, instinctive human psychologies.

When you take something too seriously, it becomes a target of others. For example, when you get irritated by someone's pranks, that someone is going to irritate you further. When you hold something dear, others will attack it. As simple as that. People tease those who react to teasing (remember such incidents from school and college?). People bully those, who can be bullied (e.g., in the workplace). People suppress those, who can be suppressed (imperialism). You will be abused if you do not resist. You will be insulted if you do not speak up for yourself.  If you are weak, you will be prowled upon. If the country is weak, enemies will attack it. (India was plundered simply because Indians could not defend it.) Your weakest point will be attacked first. This is an instinctive survival technique. Plain logic, which even a pre-teenager will understand.
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Now, what is the weak-point leading to rape? It is 'Chastity'.  

I will not mince words. I cannot sugarcoat them. So get ready to read the next line. This is the strange, illogical, feudal, outdated, social norm : "You, as a woman, are honorable, if you hymen is intact till marriage".
Examples :
(1) Unmarried Kunti was repentant on losing her virginity to Surya, when she bore son Karna. Surya was supposed to have restored her virginity (surgically?).
(2) Teenager Satyavati was nervous about losing her virginity to Parashar, when she bore son Ved Vyas. Later, when the romantic Shantanu fell for the ambitious Satyavati, she ensured her survival by being his queen.
None of the two above examples were rapes. Now if a woman is raped, why does she "lose her character"? Rape is called Charitra-Haran (Usurpation of character). "Character" means the mind-strength of not giving in temptations, and knowing your limits and responsibilities. Kunti and Satyavati, along with Surya and Parashar respectively, all succumbed to their temptations. But not much damage was done, as Kunti and Satyavati both became Queen Mothers and enjoyed royal lives. They had temporarily given in to the temptation, but did not have to take the responsibilities of the illegitimate sons. The two men were never heard of again. Satyavati was known to be an ambitious go-getter, but Kunti was highly respected as a very pious, disciplined, righteous, dignified, truthful woman and mother (she made amends which was her atonement aka Praayashchit). Our Bhaaratvarsh is named after Bharat, who was also born out of wedlock ;) So please add his parents (Shakuntala and Dushyant) to the above list. 

This slice from our great epic indicates that losing your virginity before marriage is actually no big deal. This is equally true in the modern society today, if not more. In these times, we are careful in sex, so off-springs like Karna and Ved Vyas do not come into existence.
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So, from where does 'rape' come into the picture? Is it like, the-man-wanting-to-procreate-but-the-female-not-cooperating? Ha! NO WAY! Ravan has raped many women only for carnal pleasure, not for bearing sons. Now, why does rape become such a "big deal"? Why does "getting raped" become a big issue? Why does the victim's reputation come at stake?  Why does her life "get destroyed"?

I will have to say something cliched here. The male-dominated society, apne-aap, decided without discussing with the ladies, that the woman's 'honor' is her reproductive ability and vaginal 'purity'. Men wanted to propagate their own Y-chromosome by getting a son, through a baby-producing machine called wife, and hence did not want anyone else's sperm in their machine : this is the idea of "purity" of women. A woman is simply a receptacle of their sperm. And the obedient daughters and wives unquestioningly assimilated the idea, given the lack of economic independence to rebut. She was supposed to constantly guard her hymen. Escorts and body-guards surrounded her movements all the time. Her physical body became a fortress to be protected, her brother being the chief guard. You understand Raksha-Bandhan, right? 
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Now, in the modern society of strong-willed financially independent women, I will say something un-cliched.  Ma'am, you have taken your reproductive "duty" too seriously. "Society" and "culture" (two nouns that I don't understand well) defines a woman's 'izzat' as chastity, and only sexual chastity. But why do we have to take chastity so damn seriously? If you hold on dear to your chastity, others will attack it.
It is NOT that because you-can-be-raped, and thus you-must-hold-chastity-as-the-most-important-thing. It is the other way round. Women get raped because they hold chastity as the most important thing defining them. So the rapist thinks, "Let's make the pure girl impure!". He says, "Tumhara aisa haal karoonga ki tum kahin bhi mooh dikhane ke layek nahin rahogi". ROFL! What's the logic? I show my face based on what I can do as a professional and how I establish my identity, do better and better at my work, and have a well-balanced fulfilling wholesome life. I am honorable as along as I do honorable work and do not do anything illegal. 

Now let's get into the intricate nuances of rape. Rapes are NOT for sexual pleasure or "fun".

• Some are revenge rapes. It starts with male chauvinism, considering women as inferior beings.
• Some are punishment rapes : for "teaching the girl a lesson". 
• Some are political rapes : for banishing a woman from the scene.
• Some can be for settling scores with the husband : remember Ramaayan?
• Some can be for getting even with the brother : "Saale ke bahan ko uthha le!". 
• Some are possessive rapes : "How-dare-you-turn-down-my-marriage-proposal-and-hence-I-will-rape-you-so-that-no-one-else-will-marry-you-and-I-will-be-your-last-resort". 
• Some are war-rapes and riot-rapes: let's-pollute-their-community-with-our-sperms-and-make-their-race-impure. 

(Guess why a stranger is least likely to rape you : he does not have any issue with you to settle scores on. )

Ok hypothetically, say, I am raped. Should I cry for the rest of my life? Should I mourn my 'lost honor'? Should I walk with my head hanging in shame for ever? Which shameful act,  by the way, have I done? If I am raped, should I consider I am 'spoilt' and 'stale' and no more 'fresh' and 'new'? C'mon : this is like taking your virginity too seriously. If you are attacked, will you simply get raped, lying down? Why did you let that animal walk over you? Where is your resistance? Where are your natural instincts of self-defense and counter attack (which are there in non-human females)?
It is time to change the newspaper headline from "Woman raped" to "Woman successfully defends rape-attempt".

A physically strong woman runs the risk of appearing tomboyish. Chalega....doesn't matter. No one is holding you at gunpoint to act ladylike (read 'oh damsel-in-distress'). Who brainwashed and hypnotized you into believing that "a woman needs physical assistance all the time"? Society? Culture? Upbringing? If you are able to defend yourself before your brother comes to your rescue, and he feels his ego is hurt, then he is not well brought up. You do not lose your femininity by being self-dependent.

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It is trick of the male-dominated society. One man will attempt a rape on you. Another man will come and save you. Men have this plan since the dawn of civilization, which is as follows: "We men will make women feel, at every instant, that she is physically weak, and hence she needs us, to protect her. We will take turns (alternate between) raping her and saving her. She will be trapped in this web created by us, and hence will be under our control and act according to our wish. If she does not need us, she will ignore us. (And women are hardworking and sincere enough to run their own lives). OMG! We cannot afford that, since we have our ego to preserve. By this power-play scheme, we will keep the females dependent on us".

Rape is also a method to restrict the movements of women in the geographical space and limit them within the four walls of the house. Why do girls have curfews and boys don't? Women are advised where and when to go or not to go. May I ask, when I am a citizen of India, every square inch of India is mine and I can set foot on any square inch 24/7/365 (Fundamental Right to Freedom move freely, Article 19(D) of the Constitution). 

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Refer to Ramayan : Ravan had no grudge against Sita as a person. But he abducted her since she was Ram's wife. (That he did not rape Sita was another aspect of the story). Do you bear the brunt of your husband's enemies? Solution : be less of a wife and more of an individual.

 

In contrast, in Mahabharat, Draupadi was insulted and almost stripped in open court because Duryodhan has a personal grudge against her as person, not because she is the simply wife of the Pandavs. 

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Understand the power-play and suppression, or Daman. You will be systematically suppressed if you are weak. If you allow the world to treat you like a doormat, the world will gladly do it. If you discriminate against yourself, others with discriminate against you. So, become strong and scare off the other party. People should be slightly apprehensive of you. If your body language is confident, 95% of the potential rapists will ward off. Behave like a first-class citizen of this country : with exactly the same fundamental rights as your male counterparts. You do not need anyone's permission to set foot on this soil. So walk with your head held high. Interact with men exactly like you would interact with women. The more you can talk with men, the less likely will the man treat you like a potential prey, and more like a compatriot (an equal).

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Also, understand the society's compensatory gimmicks and the damage-controls. All of them are hypocrisies.
(1) "Mother" India : the country is personified as a woman, who is presumably weak (women are weak, na), and therefore needs to be protected.

(2) Women's clothes are sexist and subversive. The sari is highly seductive : baring the midriff and highlighting the curves with the diagonal wrapping. Skirts are only a temporary cover of the lower body : try bicycling wearing it and find yourself feeling so conscious  (even embarrassed).
(a) Purdah : cover your face, of men will be aroused by your face (eyes and lips). "Nazar tumhari buri, aur purdah daaloon main?"
(b) Ghoonghat : cover your long hair, or men will be aroused by your long hair. (Question : how do I do my professional jobs like medical operation / teaching classes / lab experiments / photography / housekeeping / Yoga training / etc. if my one hand is constantly busy handling the ghoonghat, so that you don't get a hormonal rush?)

   (c) Duppatta : cover your breasts, or men will be aroused. (Question : Then why have a tight, deep necklined kameez?)

(3) "Ladies First". You have heard this in many public places : it is simply a damage-control technique. Its like "We men have disrespected you women so much in the past that now we will compensate for it". Same goes for the Women's Reservation Bill.

(4) Goddess worship : another gimmick! Women are worshiped as goddesses; after rape, dowry, foetocide, discrimination, etc.etc. Eyewash, eh? The same is true for companies/businesses/ brands/industries being named after mothers, wives, and daughters : "We men will control the money, and you will be our poster girls (decorative purpose)".

(5) Mum's the word : excessive devotion to mother. This comes post-teenage. The son troubles the mother endlessly for 18 years, rebels, disrespects, argues, disobeys, breaks rules, throws tantrums, ignores, back-answers the mother; and then wants to 'compensate' by being her blindly-devoted son for the rest of his life.
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Please understand that there is nothing called compensation. You cannot compensate for rape by offering to marry your victim. Your crime does not get atoned, and you are not doing a favor! Look at the strange rule of the "society" : If a man rapes you, you are "dishonored". If your husband "gives" you sex, you are "honored". In both the situations, the physical act remains the same. It is the mood of the man that decides your "honor". REALLY? May I ask who is someone else to decide who I am, and what my self-esteem is? 

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Marital Rape. It originates from objectifying women, once again. The husband gets a trophy wife, but treats her like a machine/robot/servant. Marriage becomes a license to have intercourse whenever he wants. He thinks he does not need her consent; since he thinks that through marriage, the society has given the complete right on his wife's body, and her consent is immaterial. If she resists, he says authoritatively, "I am you husband (hear you better cooperate)". In India, the husband is called "Swami" or "Pati", which means owner/master/controller! Again this power-play of one-upmanship precipitates domestic violence.

If the wife wants sex, she does not pounce on her husband. She patiently and indefinitely waits, for 'Pati-ka-Pyar'. She can, at max, request him. Right? 

  

Stop giving so much importance to sex and reproduction. Have you noticed : most of swear words are sex-related? Be any language or vernacular, humans think the same everywhere. "Izaat loot gayi, main barbaad ho gayi"....shouts the helpless 1980-90's Hindi movie heroine. Don't you have other agendas in life? Is child-bearing your only job on this planet? Even after 3 decades of existence, I have not been able to figure out what 'Izzat' is. Is it the angle at which you hold your head? Is it something biological (read virginity before marriage)?

Stop considering your female body as a "khooli guyi tijori", which can be looted. Have you not heard, "Izzat loot gayi?". Stop objectifying yourself : be a live human being. Stop calling breasts as "assets". As a man, stop ogling at women simply because they are physically slightly different.
Stop watching such movies. Don't allow your children to watch such movies.

Dress neutrally : neither like a saas-bahu serial character, nor in a bikini. Understand that any skimpy dress is like assisting a rapist in first mentally undressing you.  Remember that testosterone is highly volatile : why tickle it? So what if Aishwarya Rai said that you deserve to look attractive? Highlighting your curvatures is equal to making the statement of yourself as a 'sexual' being, desperate to reproduce.

Base you honor on things beyond anyone's reach, i.e. something which no one can attack. E.g., can anyone steal your knowledge? Can anyone destroy your professional competence? Can anyone take away you skill-set from you?
Make your brand-value attractive, instead of skin-deep attraction. Make your reputation so strong that people praise you behind your back. 

Understand this and commit it to your conviction : Your Izzat is your ability to add to the country's GDP. It is your ability to create wealth. It is your ability to be resourceful and be of help to others. Your Izzat is your ability to set an example for others to follow. Kunti was respected for her ability to bring up her five sons so well, that they conquered the whole of India. Draupadi was epitomized as a gritty and determined lady, who would not take any insult lying down, even if she had to wait for 13+ years to take revenge. 

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FINAL SOLUTION : Define yourself by yourself. Equalize the power play. Ignore the male ego and "fail" to notice their assumed superiority complex. NO need to be defensive : just do your job well, and your work will do the talking. Vouch for meritocracy. Carry an attitude : "I am a complete human being, not just a vagina to be entered. I cannot be polluted simply by your perverse attempts. I am the FULL me, not just my reproductive system." Make friends with your male colleagues. Develop a sense of humor and look too funny to be raped. Put on some muscle weight (5-7 kgs) and look too firm and formidable to be raped. If you sense a potential attacker, start a conversation with him about the news that day : intelligence and confidence equalizes you in the power-play and relaxes the prowling muscles of the animal. Practice accosting men whenever necessary. Walk fast with firm steps. Be physically fit. Run at times, Lift heavy things, Shout occasionally. Take quick decisions. Develop your reputation such that many people love you and respect you. Handle your money and invest it. Develop good road sense and geography sense. Drive the car properly. If you sense danger, talk in order to deflect attention and seem to be in a hurry : look busy with some very important work (as if you have no time to pay attention to that man). Treat the potential attacker as a compatriot (read an equal). Next time when someone threatens "I will rape you", make a quizzical-cum-confused face an say, "Usse kya hoga? Kaunsi mera income rook jayega?". 

Please get a synonym for "pati/swami" and replace it will something more equal. And don't bother about your  reproductive role so much. Also, read Section 376 of the Indian Penal Code.

End question : will you marry your girlfriend if she is a rape-victim? (Parents used to disown such daughters).