Solutions to dysmenorrhea

Disclaimer : Those who are too shy to read this article may skip it. But a problem that affects 3 billion people of this planet sometime or the other, deserves a solution.----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it that time of the month? Had to miss your class? Had to take a sick leave? Reaching out for the aspirin? Feeling dizzy in the head? Back is aching? Had to miss your sports tournament in school/college? Had to cancel the picnic? Are you doomed to suffer like this month after month for 35(years) x 13(periods per year) = 455 times in your life?
Older women might have told you that women MUST suffer and lead painful lives, so that they get strong enough to deliver a baby. Are menstrual cramps monthly reminders to a woman that she is trapped in a painful cycle of biology?
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As a teenager, every time during my period, my mother used to ask "ki re shorir kharap hoyeche?"....which literally means "Hey, are you unwell". Gawddd!!!!! She did not mean to ask if I was sick. She wanted to know if I was menstruating. This meant that having your period is equal to "being unwell". A period is a perceived as "problem", instead of being a normal process, as simple as brushing your teeth.
Indian mothers teach their daughters to be shy about their bodies, their being, their self. They teach their daughters to put up brave smiles during the terrible menstrual cramps, but never say anything to anyone about their problem. Traditional India also treated menstruation as an "event". Women were not supposed to leave the house, wear new clothes, even sleep on the bed, during those days. Remember, Draupadi spent her menstruating days in a bathrobe in closed quarters, not attending court. On one such occasion, she was pawned and lost in a game of dice by Yudhisthir, her husband. The winning team dragged her to the court and pulled her stained bathrobe off (the famous Draupadi cheer-haran, a central event of the Mahabharat).
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The same is true in today's world also. Just Google "menstruation", and you will find articles on how women "worry" about their periods, what "problems" they face before and during their periods, and how she should "manage" them, and what home "remedies" are advisable to overcome menses-related "problems". This leaves a woman in a scare of her period, waiting in terror for the next monthly agony to set in and hold her life ransom for 3-6 days.
Like any teenager (1994-2001), I suffered painful uterus cramps in school. There were a couple of times when I had collapsed in the classroom and had to be sent to the sick-room. I had to always carry an aspirin in my bag. And then a concerned classmate would say "You will get stomach ulcers. One should not have aspirins that much".
The "problem" continued in college (2001-06) : painful first day of the period. Standing and doing a 2 m long ship drawing in the drawing hall (Dept, of Naval Architecture, IIT Kharagpur) for 3 hours ached my back. My lower belly was crying to be pampered. Doing welding/foundry/machining in the workshop, cycling for about 5 km daily in the 500 acre IIT Campus all became tough on those days. There was no other option than popping the aspirin. Then I decided to take hold of my biology. Regular physical exercises, including weight-training, regularized the periods greatly, and shortened the duration to 3 days only. But dysmenorrhea remained a problem. Strangely, no one in the girls' hostel ever discussed this problem, let alone finding solutions. Maybe they were conditioned to bear the "woman's problem" bravely and silently.
Increased physical strength and endurance helped my in my strenuous shipyard internship in the summers, with me moving all over warships, which were still being constructed. Climbing cranes and cat-ladders, descending to cramped engine rooms, and walking around in countless workshops for a couple of months became easy.
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Once I began my graduate studies and simultaneously supported myself financially, I began taking ALL decisions of my life on my own, including the well-being of myself. I refused to suffer. And I refused to be an all-suffering Bharatiya Naari. I began Yoga with full earnest. I took up a variety of interests every semester :  I learnt swimming, badminton, kick-boxing, Odissi (2 years), running. Weekends were filled with three-hour walks in the green city, sometimes with my darling roomie Yogita. (Yogita is the only girl in I have met in 28 years, who I find attacks problems head-on and solves them.)
It has been almost two years now (since mid 2009), that I can boast of absolutely painless periods. I don't even remember I am menstruating except while using the toilet. Also, I have been predicting my periods more or less accurately since the last 15 years. Also, it lasts for 2.5 days only, instead of the usual 4 days.
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Every problem has a solution. And God did not send you to this planet to suffer. He send you to this beautiful world to live life to the fullest. And, woman! Love yourself and solve your own problems.
Solutions :(a)  Fitness is important. Daily physical exercise for at least 45 min is an absolute must. You must be sweating at the end of the session. The human body is designed for activity, not a sedentary lifestyle.
(b)  There is no alternative for muscular strength. Weight train at least twice a week. Shoot for a minimum of 5 kg dumb-bells. What nature has not gives us, we must achieve ourselves (nature did not give us wings, but we can still fly across oceans and continents).
(c)  Yoga  :  flexibility is compulsory. Focus on your lower body. Go beyond your comfort levels. master your skeletal and muscular systems. Do Bhujangasan, Shalbhasan, Vrishchikasan, Chakrasan, Kapotasan,  Viparit Virabhadrasan, Paschimmotanaasan, Surya Namasakar (at least 13 in one workout session). Try the Butterfly oscillation :  expand your pelvic girdle.  (d) Classical dance : try Odissi, Bharat Natyam, Kuchipudi. All classical Indian dance forms are basically extensions of dynamic yoga / power yoga. And with it comes grace, poise, balance, and rhythm. Wow!
(e) Lower body strength is compulsory : men have stronger upper bodies and women have stronger lower bodies. Men work on their bicep, triceps and pectorals. Should we not work on your quadriceps, hamstrings and gluts? Virabhadraasan, with at least 10 variations works great. Squats, lunges, side squats, duck-walking, frog-jumping all firm up the muscles in the lower body.  Also, Parvataasan, Dharuaraasan, and Halaasan are perfect for this pelvic girdle.
(f) Try martial arts : Karate, Kick-boxing, Lathi, Mushti Yuddha. The more is the range-of-motion (ROM) of your legs, the stronger are your pelvic muscles, including the uterus.
(g) Have your orgasm (and you don't need a partner for that) : regular orgasms (about 2 per week) cause uterus convulsions, which regulate the movement of the ovum in the Fallopian tubes, giving you the freedom to predict your periods accurately. (The reason why the population of India is so much is that Indian women have irregular periods and the calendar method of preventing a pregnancy hardly works)

Bengali girls deserve better!

Disclaimer : this is about men born and brought up IN Bengal, and not the lakhs of Bengalis residing elsewhere in India and the world. 
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More than a century ago, Rabindranath Tagore wrote this poem : titled বঙ্গমাতা (Mother Bengal)

পূণ্যে পাপে দুঃখে সুখে পতনে উত্থানে
মানুষ হইতে দাও তোমার সন্তানে
হে স্নেহার্ত বঙ্গভূমি, তব গৃহক্রোড়ে
চিরশিশু করে আর রাখিয়ো না ধরে।
দেশদেশান্তর-মাঝে যার যেথা স্থান
খুঁজিয়া লইতে দাও করিয়া সন্ধান।
পদে পদে ছোটো ছোটো নিষেধের ডোরে
বেঁধে বেঁধে রাখিয়ো না ভালোছেলে করে।
প্রাণ দিয়ে, দুঃখ স’য়ে, আপনার হাতে
সংগ্রাম করিতে দাও ভালোমন্দ-সাথে।
শীর্ণ শান্ত সাধু তব পুত্রদের ধরে
দাও সবে গৃহছাড়া লক্ষ্মীছাড়া ক’রে।
সাত কোটি সন্তানেরে, হে মুগ্ধ জননী,
রেখেছ বাঙালী করে, মানুষ কর নি।

– রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর

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Bengali men (and women) shaped India's modern history. The face of Indian culture changed through the Bengal Renaissance. Starting with Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Bengal saw a landslide of patriots, leading India into intelligent, educated nationalism, heralding the era of Modern India. Look at this unending list of visionaries : Ishwar Chandra VidyaSagar, Swami Vivekanand, Rabindranath Tagore, Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose, Bipin Chandra Pal, Keshav Chandra Sen, Syamaprasad Mukherjee, Aurobindo Ghosh, Bidhan Chandra Roy, Jagadish Chandra Bose, Meghnad Saha, Ashutosh Mukherjee, Saytendranath Bose, Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyaya, Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyaya, Devendranath Tagore, Micheal Madhusudan Dutta, Satyajit Ray.

The 1857 First war of Independence began in Bengal (Mangal Pandey at Barrakpur). The dare-devil revolutionary movement, following the 1905 Partition of Bengal; scared the daylights out of the English Sahibs of the then British-ruled India. Khudiram Bose, Masterda Surjya Sen, Binay-Badal-Dinesh, Jatin Das, the list goes on. Subhash Bose shook that Empire with his Indian National Army.  

Modern education started in Bengal. The most intelligent and intellectual people were here. 

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That was almost a century ago. Independence was here! Society began to have some new democratic rules.  Independence made the average Indian complacent. "Let's relax, now that we have achieved what we want after decades of struggle....", was the common attitude.  Independent India's Bengal saw a completely different breed of Bengali men, completely run out of steam.

1) Mama's boys. Here is a real life incident. Two of my Bengali students were always impunctual. Reason : "I walk in the 500-acre campus : it is time-consuming. My mother told me that my horoscope says I should not ride a two-wheeler". I didn't laugh because "mother" and "horoscope" are two 'sento' things for Bengalis. Cut to a household scene in North Kolkata "MAaaaaa, khide peyechhe, khete daao" ("Maa, I am hungry"), says my parents' neighbor's 36-yr-old married son to his mother. Either their mothers prevent them from growing up, or they themselves refuse to grow up.

Bengali mothers are over-protective and son-obsessed. (Watch the movie "Ichhe" for details). Thus, the sons are used to being asked question after question by their mothers about where they are, what they are doing, when are they coming home, etc.etc. They are OK with their personal freedom being intruded upon -  "She is my mother after all!". No wonder Bengal's deities are women : Durga, Kali, Saraswati, Lakshmi. 
Even if it is a love-marriage, he will keep  quiet when his mother is pressurizing his wife into certain things. "Maa-er opor kichhu bolte paarbo na". In front of mothers, they are all go-bechaaraa's". And in the worst case, if the mother starts crying, he will melt completely.

2) "Nyaka". Affected. The deity Kartikeya (Murugan or Subramanium), who is a valiant warrior, has been reduced to a chocolate boy in Bengal. Any handsome boy here is said to look like "Kartik Thakur". Heard of the Shantiniketan-i style : guys there behave in a ridiculously effeminate manner. Why do Bengali girls succeed in Bollywood, and Bengali boys don't even attempt? The casting director knows they are Nyaka. 

3) Indecisive. Meek, docile, passive. "Ki korbo bhujte parchhi na", "Ki mushkil holo!".Cannot take a stand. They will speak intellectually about women's liberation, and then quietly surrender to patriarchy. Just see the hypocrisy : they will mouth lines like "Bengali women have the greatest freedom in India, as compared to non-Bengali women", but then marry a docile agreeable beta-female who will wear sindoor, shaankha, pola and silently obey are patriarchal norms. You will here "no" more often than "yes" from them. They will love sitting at home the best, taking REST. They do not have the courage to disturb the system. Can you imagine Bengali boys in the movie "Zindagi na milegi Dobara", doing deep-sea diving, sky-diving, or running with the bulls? As you travel from West to East, you will find the Taamsik-ta (sloth or sluggishness) increasing in the culture. Even the posture and gait show a lack of confidence. Life is a majboori and not an exciting challenge.You will find indecisiveness, procrastination, confusion, increasing your  life's inertia and decreasing the momentum. They do not have the courage to disturb the system. They will act like non-conformists but end up conforming.

4) Non-romantic. Bengali BF-GF address each other most informally, like chaddi-buddies. Where is the spark? Dates with them are boring. Where is the chemistry? They don't know how to woo and court. They make fun of each others sexual desires. They clumsily kiss and never say "I Love you". Yuck! Where is the passion?
A Bengali boy in college wanted to date me, and he came to my hostel with an army of friends, whose commander-in-chief came a told me his wish. (He himself did not have the guts to speak up). I sent the platoon off in 2 min. Another chap in college picked up the phone and asked me (without identifying himself), "How much is your weight?". I hung up (read banged the phone). Another ex-groom from Bharatmatrimony.com used to call me up (after rejection) and then keep quiet on the phone (he was either stammering or muttering 'romantic' nothings, I could not decipher). After waiting for full 3 minutes for him to speak, I blasted him off!
They will not give you birthday gifts. They will not plan surprises for you. They will not plan for the weekend together. Very few will have a spark, a zing in their personality. In rare cases, if they propose, they do it in the most subtle manner, and follow it with sheepish smiles, and not  with romantic hugs. (My room-mate in USA told this to me about her BF (when he proposed). He did not say "Is that a YES?". He said "I hope you not saying NO to me". Look at the lack of confidence and chivalry!)
Love marriages also need to be 'arranged with the parents'! You will hardly hear a typical Bengali boy eloping to marry his GF : utna dum nahin hain khokaa mein! After marriage, they cannot address each other by names!. Their addressal is "Hyan go, sunchho?"(Puke!). Bengali men never praise their wives in public. They would rather criticize each other, esp. in an arranged marriage. (I have seen enough of that among the previous generation).

When India was attacked, western India defended it (Punjabis, Rajasthanis, Marathis, etc.). What valor, what courage! How many Bengali contemporaries of PrithviRaj Chauhan, Raana Sangha, Maharaja Ranjit Singh, KrishnaDeva Raya, Rajendra Chola, or Shivaji Bhoshle, have you heard of? Bengalis learnt courage and valor temporarily for 4-5 generations (1820-1950). Hundreds sacrificed their lives under the British Empire, and I salute them. But then, it was lost after 1940's. 

5) Escapist. They can change the topic of conversation at their convenience. They can make jokes out of a serious conversation and trivialize it, almost invalidate it. If you are angry/frustrated/irritated about something; they will add fuel to the fire by further irritating you (They like pissing you off). They will not contribute to the house-work, but will give 'expert opinions' about the running of the house. They will launch 'big projects' and then you will have to execute them : e.g. they will plan to make beaten coffee. They will sit at a place and ask you to get the coffee powder, sugar, and milk in the correct composition, and hand them over him in a cup with a spoon. They will simply do the stirring. They will beat it for an hour. After that, it will left to you to boil the milk and serve the coffee.
They will not wash their car/scooter everyday. Once in a blue moon, they will dissect their vehicle and be struck in the garage for the whole day. Wonder why they are so messy, when they claim to be perfectionists!
They are moody : remember Devdas, or Shekhar from Parineeta? (Moodiness is actually masked escapism, nothing more).
They are very Aaram-priyo : Doing physically-demanding work seems to be below their dignity (They are intellectuals and are supposed to use their brain only!). How many sports-persons do you heard of from here?  "Aar paari na (I can't take it anymore)" is what you will hear often. Bengalis will not prefer physically challenging professions. As a back-lash, Bengalis are known to be talkative. (The energy has to be spent somewhere, right?). They talk descriptively, wordily, and animatedly. And don't mistake the verbosity for intellect!
Recently, I travelled on a 18-day tour with a Bengali group to the Himalayas : none of them could trek to Gaumukh (3889 m) or Kedarnath (3584 m above MSL). Boys 7-8 years younger than me went sissy-ly upon mule-back, my sister-in-law and myself trekked up, and the rest stayed back in Gangotri (total surrender)! In the 14 km Kedarnath trek, all (except both of us) surrendered in less than 1 km, and were escorted on mule-back. Is a 1:8 incline that difficult?
Laziness : their low energy levels will sicken you. (You will almost want to force-feed them some Glucon-D!) They walk so slowly! Is it because of the humid  weather? NO. Japan has hot and humid summer, and the Japanese have the world-renowned hardworking nature. Same is true for Mumbai. It is just plain attitude/culture in Kolkata.
Heard of taxi-refusals? It happens in Kolkata. On your face, the cabbie will bluntly say "I am not in an mood to drive you" or "I have a headache" or simply "I won't go". It this particularly common between 1pm-4pm and after 9 pm : it's time to sleep na!. (Compare that to Mumbai where you can avail a taxi 24/7).
Durga Puja is basically for 4 days only (in October). But it becomes the "festive season" from Vishwakarma Puja (Sept 17) to Kartik Puja (mid November). For 2 months, Bengal refuses to contribute to the GDP. All meetings are postponed, all appointments are cancelled, all projects are shelved.
As if these 2 months are not enough, we have the politically motivated Bandh-culture (strike), which is usually on a Friday or a Monday, for the common Bengali to laze around in a long weekend. There are no political outcomes of a Bandh anyways. Avoiding work is extremely common: you will see people in office reading the newspaper Aanando Baajaar Potrika online at 10 am, when it is business time. They can halt work and take a smoking-break, even if 10 others are waiting for them to come back and resume the work. Taking "REST" is a priority.
The suicide rate in India is 18.1, higher than the national average of 11.2. This is 12.2% of all the suicides in India!!! And of course, men commit more suicide than women. Heard of the metro suicides? All were men. 

6) Food-obsessed. Bhaat, Maach and Mishti. Starting to gulp down even before the others at the table are yet to be served. Eating at full speed. Leaning too much over the plate to grab each mouthful. (I am talking of middle-class and upper middle class. Paisa aa gaya, lekin manners nahin aaya). Slurping and burping. Followed by bhaat-ghoom (nap after a rice-meal). Also, some domestic air pollution due to bad digestion. Best of Luck! And better remember the difference between a non-vegetarian and a carnivore. They will ask about the dinner menu while having the lunch dessert! Its a vicious cycle.
Be specially careful when they travel : you will hear them complain constantly how they are missing the Maach-Bhaat. The Bengali group in my recent trip (mentioned above) spoke only a about what food is being served by the tour kitchen, and kept reminding the manager of what they want in the next meal.
The main attraction to then in any party is not the occasion, ambiance, company, music, fun, catching-up with friends; but only one, FOOD! Ask them "How was the get-together?" and comes the answer "Menu was such-and-such, food was such-and such". The 2-month festive season is looked forward to particularly because of good food, esp. chicken and sweets. Also, they look down on vegetarians big-time.

7) Non-competitive. Bengal stands poor in the National Games medals tally. Same is the story in IIT-JEE. This is the image Bengalis have created for themselves at a national level. Fallout : My first cousin has a PhD from Kolkata University; which was not much respected when she was seeking faculty jobs in Delhi. 

8) "Army? Na baba na". There is no Bengal Regiment in the Indian Army : check this list. "Aami Khoka-ke army-te kichhu-tei jete debo naa", says the son-obsessed Bengali mother. In the Kargil conflict, India lost 500 brave soldiers and officers, and the only Bengali was Captain Kanad Bhattacharya". Remember, you have no right court a woman unless you have done some thing admirable. It is not for nothing that they say "Only the brave deserve the fair".
Army to bahut door ki baat hain. They are too scared to even start a conversation. They need crutches for that. E.g. an online acquaintance of mine (from Europe) often starts a conversation talking about my new blog entry or status update. Unless I take 'Step 0' , he cannot take the first step! Gawd! Why can't you just start with a 'Hi' or 'Wassup'? Where is the confidence?
How many successful entrepreneurs and businesspersons have you heard of from here? Too scared to take the risk? Or too scared to be independent? Or just too used to simply following orders (from the British)? Where is the dare-devil attitude? Where is that dashing nature? Where is the assertive personality? Some are too intimidated by the idea of stepping out of Bengal : How many of you had to give up a job/study offer in some other states, just because you parents wanted you to 'stay at home'? One of my old friends declined a job offer from Bhabha Atomic Research Centre and continued in a demotivating, boring, monotonous, low-paying job in Kolkata! A cousin of mine declined a lucrative job in Bangalore to stay back in his parents' house in Kolkata.

9) Domestically challenged. "Ma, where is my vest?","Ma ektu jal debe?"(Mom, give me some water to drink). "Ma aamaar bag-ta guchhiye debe?"(Mom please pack my bag). (After marriage) "Sunccho, aamar moja-ta kothaye?"(Listening, where are my socks), "My wife is sick, so I had bread toast for dinner (after scorching it)". Face-palm! So what's the difference between you an a 10-year-old? In the first 30 years of your life, your mother looks after you. In the next 30 years, you wife looks after you. And the remaining years your daughter-in-law looks after you. Finished. Life's over! You never grow up.
A prospective groom's father once told my mother, "My son lives alone in USA, has unhealthy habits of skipping breakfast and having fast food. I want him to get married in order to stabilize his domestic life" (read 'he needs a care-giver'). My mother laughed off the proposal, and told me only much later about it.

10) Tea-party adda. (Slow lifestyle) The in-state Bengali is never in a hurry. Life is a time-pass. Chit-chating and small-talking is second nature. There is no agenda for the day. Maintaining an appointment diary is something baara-baari (too much)! Every intention gets delayed and postponed. Chit-chatting is always being looked forward to. They are always laid-back. They can spend an hour just to have a cup of tea in his friends' company. 10-11 am is tea time, 3:30-4:30 pm is tea-time again. Lunch "hour" is 12 noon-3 pm (One 'mental' hour equals three clock hours). When is the work getting done? Bengal has 7.55% of the population of India, one big metro city, greater literacy than many other states, yet is only 6.07% contributor of GDP. Anyone from the North or West or South, when they land up here, notice the markedly slow lifestyle in the very first minute. Chit-chatting and go on and on and on. Delaying and postponing work is as usual as sunrise and sunset. Bengal lies in the eastern part of India, so the sun rises earlier right? So the office time should be early too, say 8:30 am? No Dear! It is 10 am! And the work day ends early because the sun sets earlier! 

11) Regionalism : "Are you a Hindustani or a Madrasi?". Sounds like as if they are not Hindustani themselves!  They make fun of the food of a Tamil, the eyes and nose of a North-easterner, the complexion of a Telugu, the lifestyle of an Odiya, the money-mindedness of a UP-ite, the 'crudeness' of a Bihari, etc.etc. Heard of the Bengali snob? This is it : unexplained superiority complex gulps them. The 'us-vs-them' works intra-Bengal also : Descendants of Bengal and Bangladesh, living together in West Bengal, do not like each other much. Finally, Kashmir, Gujarat, Rajasthan, and Maharashtra are "too far away" from Bengalis to have any opinion about the people there! Broadly, they consider India to be inhabited by Bengalis and non-Bengalis.
Making fun of other communities is a common topic in Bengali parties. A septuagenarian Bengali in USA said to me at a community get-together, "Arrey you know, Gujaratis celebrate New Year on Diwali...Ha Ha Ha". I frowned and said, "What's so funny?", and removed myself from the conversation.

Aside : Bollywood only made fun of Bengalis until 2002, when "Devdas" struck a chord and the subsequent movies had Bengali characters without their thick accent : Life in a Metro (Shilpa Shetty and Konkona Sensharma), Yuva (Ajay Devgan et al), Corporate (Bipasha Basu), Dhoom2 (Bipasha Basu), Cheeni Kum (Amitabh Bachchan), Wake up Sid (Konkona Sensharma), Karthik Calling Karthik (Deepika Padukone), Dil to bachcha hain ji (Shraddha Das), Vicky Donor (Yami Gautam). Notice, mostly it is the female character which is Bengali. Similarly, Kolkata started getting noticed in Yuva, Parineeta, and Kahaani. A Bengali male character has yet been portrayed well, except maybe Jatin Das in The Legend of Bhagat Singh (played by Amitabh Bhattacharjee). Prof. Jatin Das taught Bhagat Singh how to make bombs, which the latter exploded in the Lahore assembly in April 1929. He himself sacrificed his life after a 63-day hunger strike against the British.

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It's your call.