Decide it for yourself!

       

Situation #1 : You are done with school. Next, you are scratching your about joining a 'good' college.

Confused? Fickle-minded? Waiting for others to direct you?

Situation #2 : You are done with college. You are thinking to start your career (read 'what to do next'). Seeking 'help' in deciding a path?  Asking for advice? Listening to countless opinions? 

Situation #3 : You like a person, more than just a friend. You want to express your feelings. Scared? Giving second thoughts? Trying to play safe? Thinking what if you are rejected?   

Situation #4 : You want to settle in some other place in some other job. But you are worried about non-professional commitments. 

Situation #5 : You have reached a 'marriageable' age, and people around are asking about when the wedding bells are. 

Situation #6 : You want to take a holiday. But you have been postponing it since you are never able to plan it "perfectly".

Situation #7 : You know you should quit your bad habit (Smoking / drinking / not exercising / binge eating / oversleeping / overspending), but you will indulge for "one last time" before you quit.

STOP IT!!!!

• You decide what you want to do with your life.
• You decide what your career is going to be about.
• You decide how your CV is going to look like.
• You decide what type of life you want.
• You decide how much you want to earn.
• You decide how you want to spend your life.
• You decide when you want to marry.
• You decide whom you marry.
• You decide who your friends should be.
• You decide how your house will look like.
• You decide how your surroundings will be. 
• You decide whether you want to have children or not.

Do NOT let others influence your decision : it is your life. You will lead it exactly the way you want it. Decide what to do, and do it! ASAP! Don't hesitate. Do not wait for the elusive 'future'. Future never comes : only the Present comes to you. 

Be proud of your own decision. Stand by it. Take responsibility for it. Do NOT wait for others to 'approve' it. Be decisive. Decide it and decide it now! Do NOT delay. Do NOT postpone. Do NOT procrastinate. Once the decision is made, do NOT back-track. Stand by it. And then follow through. The outcome of your decisions should be out before/within your decided time-frame. Be the Master you of your life. Don't over-think. Don't over-analyze your decision. Simply go into the Action mode. Enough with planning : get down to the implementation. 

• The refrigerator/washing machine/AC is lying around 'not working' for ages? Call the service personnel right now.
• Wanting to renovate your house, but postponing it for ages? Move to your friends place / company guest house / parents' place / sibling's place and ask the contractor to start the renovation NOW! You want a better house right? So what are you waiting for?
• Want to upgrade your operating system in your laptop, but delaying it (since it needs a lot of time, and you have 'important work' running on it? Halt! Come out of your comfort zone and upgrade it. You will get used to it very soon.
• Wanting to organize your cupboard but procrastinating it? Simply pull out all things of it, and start arranging it. Purge things you have not used for a year : you anyways don't need them.
• Planning to take a road trip but pushing back your back with excuses? Print out a map, fill the fuel tank, take your GPS, and start the car. 
• Planning a new workout but delaying it? Pin it into your schedule spreadsheet, print it out, and paste in on the wall. You will get adjusted to your new schedule pretty soon.
• Want to catch up with a friend over coffee but postponing it again and again? Cancel your evening appointment, and meet her. Work will anyways come back to you.
• Want to upgrade your kitchenware, but leaving it tacky for months and months? Plan it now and set aside some money for it. Do some homework and plan your purchases.
• Planning to end a relationship, but sticking to it out of habit/complacency/optionless-ness? Break-up RIGHT now, and get on with your life (read freedom and sanity).
• Holding on to old trash indefinitely, thinking 'I will use it in future'. THROW them out right away!
• Wanting to start an investment/savings plan; but delaying it till you save enough? That 'next month' is not going to come. Start this month instead. 
• Want to learn a  new sport/skill/art; but never found the time for it? Set aside a time frame and do it. Enrol in the course, pay the fees, get the equipment, pencil it into your schedule, and stick to it. 

There is nothing like "One day, things will be fine", i.e. "Ek din sab kuchh thik ho jaayega". This "one day" is only in your mind, not in reality. That "Ek Din" cannot come, unless it starts right now. Talking in the future tense, is an extremely dangerous habit. Of course you can talk in that, but set a deadline. The Future is continuously transforming into the Present : live it before it freezes in as the Past. You have a  limited time on this planet : do not waste it over-planning and over-thinking. 

Update your life as often as needed. It is never too soon to hit the reset button. Stop stagnating in life. Do not let each day/week/month/year/decade be a 'rewind-and replay' routine of the previous. Life is for growth. Think bigger and better, at regular intervals. Take quantum leaps in life. Renew your life at least once in 5 years : each and every aspect of it.  No one else will live your life. Also, your life is not what others expect it to be. For example :

• Society wants you to marry and settle down by 24. You want to marry at 30+. What should you do? Stick to your decision.
• Your parents want you to work in your home town, and you have landed on a huge opportunity in another city. What should you do? Pack your bags. 
• You have decided whom to marry, but your family has issues with the match. What should you so? Put your foot down.
• You have your own style in clothes, yet your friends say you don't follow fashion. What should you do? Stick to your style. It defines your image.You are not someone else, but yourself; and unique.

DDLJ sucks!

Yes, you read it right. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, the 1995 blockbuster, and one of the highest grossing movies of all times, is a horrible movie.
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• First things first : the title itself is wrong! See this figure below and get the point. Here, Dulhaniya is a prize (not a human being), which the Dilwala will lift and 'take away'. So the movie begins with objectification of women as trophies : whoever achieves 'it', is the hero!

• Patriarchal : the movie is the ultimate patriarchal movie.The movie depicts double standards for men and women, shamelessly. "Indian Culture" stands for "daughter being shy before the father" and not expressing herself! A wife is supposed to to be quiet before the husband! See how Lajjo (Farida Jalaal) behaves before Baldev Singh (Amrish Puri) : she is the meek and docile wife, constantly scared of her ever-dominating, almost Hitler-ish husband.

• The girl (Simran) has no life of her own. She is simply waiting to fall in love and get married and play Ghar-Ghar for the rest of her life. Early morning on a weekday, when her dad is going for his business and her sister is going to school, the heroine is writing romantic poems, dancing in the rain waiting for her lover to come and fulfill her dreams. Height of joblessness! Where is her career? Is her aim in life simply to romance the hero?

• The hero is a college drop-out! He has no job, no income, no identity of his own, Yet, he is enjoying Europe and pursuing his lady-love to India with his millionaire dad's money! What is his curriculum Vitae? ZERO! 
• The girl has to live under the command of men : she has to beg of her father, for one month of her life to live life according to her own terms. She strikes a deal with him, that after a month, she will compromise and surrender to the male-dominated society. How regressive can Yash Chopra get?

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• It is OK for guys to flirt with strangers! The guy can accost the girl, strike a conversation forcibly, intrude into the girl's physical personal space, irritate her non-stop. Why does the girl not slap him? Why can't the girl hold her own, give cold vibes, and ask him to 'shut the @#$% up', or call the police?
• If a girl tries to assert herself (or take revenge of her insult), she will be 'tamed' in public. And she has to digest repeated insults. The hero even tears the heroine's dress! When the hero gets drunk, he manhandles her, that too when she is a a wet swimming costume! Yash Chopra seems to be a misogynist.         

• But keeping your hymen intact till marriage is the greatest virtue of an Indian woman!!! 
• Also, Indian women are portrayed as naive and stupid; and they lose control upon drinking!
• The heroine knows that she cannot make her own choices in life.

• All Indian girls are emotional fools, silly, innocent, sentimental, suckers for romance! Why cannot she laugh off his concocted 'proposal'? Why does she get swept off her feet so easily? Does she ever bother to ask herself, "Is he really good enough for me?". Is it that easy to charm a woman who is intelligent enough to respect herself? Only a romantic fool will allow herself to be carried away like this! Plain silly! Look at the two pictures below, and see how her emotions are out of her control, and the guy has completely captured her feelings. Where is her own brain? C'mon Simram, what did you see in him?           

---------------- Interval -----------------

• A mother teaches/convinces/requests her daughter to sacrifice and compromise before patriarchy. She tells her that she is fighting a losing battle. She tells here, "Women have to sacrifice as daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers. We cannot live our lives according to our own terms. We have to sacrifice for men all the time, since men will never sacrifice anything for us". 

             

• A woman has to starve on Karwa Chauth for the long life of her husband. Why not the other way round : the boy fasting and praying for the girl's long life and well-being? We have never seen a guy praying for a woman, even when the wife is in labor! The song lyrics go as "Tere haath se pi kar paani, daasi se ban jaaun raani"....OMG, give me a break, you subservient woman! Is he someone to salvage you and give you status?                  

• Finally, there is a single scene in the movie where the mother takes a bold step, as asks her daughter to live her life according to her own terms. What a welcome relief! But sadly, short-lived. The guy has his own ego to satisfy, and talks his would-be MIL out of her resolve. It is a Bollywood movie yaar : the hero has to have the last word! Or is it like, in our society, men have the last word, irrespective of age and status? 

              

• As the girl's father comes to know of the affair, all hell breaks loose! A woman is either the father's property or a husband's property! "Ab Simran aapki pareshaani nahin, meri pareshaani hain". So a woman is a problem is someone's life, whether parents or husband or in-laws! See this picture here : a woman is merely a transferable good, which the two parties (pita and pati) are negotiating about! The current owner of the good, the father, refuses to give 'it' to the future owner, who is requesting him for 'it'.

• The girl has a suitor (total MCP). The two guys are fighting for the girl, just as two dogs fight for one piece of bone. Each one is trying to outdo the other to win her as a trophy : winning the girl is considered as an act of heroism, just as they said in the olden monarchy days, "Kanya-haran mein veerta siddha hoti hain".

• Meanwhile, the girl begs and begs her father to let her marry the man of her choice.
• Finally, the brainless climax : see figure below. But understand the symbolism of the scene : the guy is 'going ahead', and the girl is 'catching up' with him, leaving behind her parents as 'the losing team'. This scene encapsulates the essence of patriarchy!
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